tavie.com

There is a game called Goil Poker. It's like Texas Hold 'Em, except we kind of suck at it, so it's called Goil Poker.

Gina is a horribly aggressive bettor*. Cheryl and I are pussies. It all works out, somehow.

*Yes, this is spelled correctly.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:29 PM | shower me with attention

Meep. Meep. Meep.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:07 AM | shower me with attention

Thursday, July 13, 2006

We hath made merry at my favourite restaurant. I have drunketh the blood of the grape and am sloshed-eth. Happy, too.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:16 PM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Apparently I have a "faggy" lifestyle. According to Captain Annoying, who disapproves of the fact that my friends are taking me out for my birthday in the middle of the week, and to a restaurant rather than a bar.

Some people in this world do not like loud bars and clubs and parties. I guess that makes some people "faggy". (I've never understood that term as applied to girls.)

It's not to say I don't like liquor. I'd just rather drink it while watching House with my roommates. On my faggy couch. In my faggy shmancy-pants apartment.

I guess I'm just a superfag.

If I could grow a beard, I'd go naked and live in a pit like a respectable hermit.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:09 PM | shower me with attention

The storm has knocked the cable out. But only one channel. Only the one channel that we'd been watching, Bravo. Only the one show that I'd been looking forward to for weeks, the season premiere of Project Runway.

I set it to tape the rerun tomorrow. I just hope it doesn't get spoiled before then.

I had so been looking forward to it...

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:56 PM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

You know how for years I've been saying I want a watermelon with a candle in it as a low-carb alternative to a birthday cake?

Well, I have. And I got it.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:14 PM | shower me with attention

I had really a very lovely day, except for the working part (which was no worse than usual.) It started out strong with surprise gifts from dear, thoughtful co-workers (code names J-Rock and Brando, who not only remembered my birthday but gave me gifts that I actually wanted and appreciated. I mean, really!)

My family (the ones in this country-- the older generation) took me out for surprisingly delicious barbecue and gave me beautiful and generous gifts. And I was gifted again by my goils. Generous and thoughtful gifting abound.

Best of all, I got that special "It's my birthday" feeling. I wonder if it's because it's only my third birthday ever that I didn't spend with Kirsten? (First: 7th birthday, spent in hospital overnight with mysterious, undiagnosed stomach ailment; second: Sweden, 2002.)

Anyway, the lack of Kirsten, although strange and sad, also made it somehow feel more like my day. And I got emails from long-lost baby birds and far-off waterfowl, and musical birthday traditions by phone, and it was all in all a very satisfactory way to turn only-three-years-from-30.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:04 PM | shower me with attention

Monday, July 10, 2006

For the first time ever, I called Kirsten and wished her happy birthday and it wasn't my birthday yet. In a sense, she is older than me in Japan, because it's tomorrow there; so she's 27, but I'm still 26.

Ha ha, she's old.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:03 PM | shower me with attention

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Chronicle the rest of the day, because it's a good one, and you want to remember the good ones:

Bear mountain. Hike, picnic. Drive home. Cheryl and Mush and I went swimming. Then Cheryl drove Mush home while Gina and I made dinner and watched the end of Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves (the Alan Rickman factor); then C. came home and we tried to watch Wilde (while I swatched some baby alpaca yarn for maybe some lace gloves), but the DVR let us down; so we put on Celebrity Poker Showdown for background noise and we played Texas Hold 'Em. (I won.) Then we had drinks and watched Blackadder and started putting together the Tigger photomosaic puzzle Steph's mom gave me. I hadn't done a puzzle in, I don't know, let's say 16 years or so. It makes me feel both very young (like a kindy-gartener) and very old (like a senior citizen.)

That was the conclusion of today. It was, all in all, a much more satisfactory day than any day I've had lately. It was absent of that frozen numbness, punctuated by black, painful gloom and despair. There's something so, so wrong with me. I don't want to worry anyone more than necessary so I don't talk about it nearly as much as I feel it. Contrary to my moping on the blog, I've never more than skimmed the surface. It's not the place. It's no one's business. But I will keep track of the breaks in the sadness. Those are good things. Did I mention how I saw Buddy Holly in the clouds? I did, before. It was so good to see him. He was lying on his stomach peering down at the world, in profile. It might have been anyone in glasses, but it was definitely Buddy Holly. I also saw a woman riding a swan, London Bridge, Winnie the Pooh and a friendly troll.

I started to imagine I was flying and had the loveliest daydream, sitting in the front seat riding back from Bear Mountain while Joshua Tree (Mush's choice) was playing. Of all things. Not that I particularly like or dislike U2, but they'd never exactly inspired a daydream before. It might have been any music. But it happened to be Bono. I imagined I was flying above the car and up through the clouds, where Buddy Holly and the London Bridge were.

It may not seem so significant, but I've been unable to imagine things during the day. My fancies had all seemed to have left me. It was such a relief that I got a little teary-eyed, just for a second. I wouldn't want anyone to think it was the U2 song that made me emotional. It was just the daydream, and the fact of having one. Flying dreams, nonetheless. They're the best ones.

I wonder where they went.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:43 PM | shower me with attention

We drove up to Bear Mountain today and had a hike and a picnic. I felt less bad than I have been. Maybe the sunshine, the fresh air. On the car ride home I saw Buddy Holly in the clouds. I hadn't seen anyone or anything in clouds in a long time. I think a little more colour was present today. Everything was less grey. I think nature can be wonderful therapy. Nature and hot sunshine and ponds full of huge, snapping turtles.

I can feel the colour draining away again but it was nice to not feel terribly sad for a day.

So there, I didn't feel forced to blog for no reason. I had something to say, about colour and day trips. I think maybe we'll go down to the pool now, while there's still light.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:39 PM | shower me with attention