Goth Sunshine
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I'm sorry to my friends who were making an effort to help me celebrate last night although the plans were sidelined by my mini-breakdown. I just knew that it would not be the happy fun time I wanted/needed it to be.
I don't feel comfortable divulging much information about why yesterday stomped the hell out of me but when I am able, I will blog about the man for whom I worked and how priviledged I feel to have done so. But, emotionally, yesterday was surreal. Just before noon, we received horrible news. There was a brief halt as scattered groups of people absorbed the news and then business as usual for the rest of the day (with the exception of the occasional teared-up interaction). Later on in the day, I mentioned this observation to my supervisor and she told me stories about the work-horse this man was, how he would and did work through absolutely everything (not out of callousness but out of necessity and as a way of dealing). I didn't realize that going on with the day as though nothing had happened was exactly what he would have wanted and was a wonderful tribute to him.
I think I am also reacting more harshly than I may have normally if I hadn't already been feeling emotionally immunosuppressed. Mush is finally due to come back home in a few days after being away for almost 4 weeks dealing with the death of his father. He says he is "OK" but I can tell just by talking to him on the phone that he is isn't (and how can he be?).
Pretty soon, I'll be able to deal/help with these issues better. I haven't been very good at behaving like myself lately but the light at the end of this tunnel is getting brighter.
a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 12:22
(0) comments Sunday, October 05, 2008
enjoying my lazy day today. mostly catching up on my surprisingly full DVR and futzing around the house (taking out the garbage, etc). i was fortunate to have nearly play-by-play phone calls from my football information expert, gina, to keep me posted on how my pats were doing today (they won!). Now, i'm watching my BoSox in their attempt to sweep the angels and progress to the ALCS (game tied 3-3 at the moment). funny how they couldn't seem to beat the angels even once this season but, postseason, they make winning against them look almost "easy" (knock on wood). Even if they progress, they have to get through the scary TB Rays (eep!!).
block your ears tavie but I have a long overdue appointment to get my hair done on wednesday (I can only rock a ponytail for a certain period of time). when your sister's a hairdresser, you're reluctant to pay out the ass to have someone else do it, but then when i finally see my sister I feel guilty making her "work", no matter how horrid my hair is starting to look. so i've finally gotten to the point where i've made an appointment at the very first salon i visited when i moved to JC and was living with erin (oh, the memories!). i got sooooo many compliments on that hairstyle and, even though the stylist who performed the haircut is no longer there, I'm confident that the stylist/owner of the salon with whom i made the appointment can duplicate it pretty well.
wanna see "religulous" and "ghost world"...whose with me????
a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 20:51
(1) comments Friday, October 03, 2008
I'm starting to get really pissed off at my neighbors upstairs. I think they're a couple but they are louder/much more annoying than the "frat boys" before them ever were. they seem to operate under the belief that their feet are made of concrete and they simply cannot walk across their apartment without pounding their feet (on my head, it feels like). they woke both mush and i up this past saturday morning with the woman shrieking at the top of her lungs. we called the front office and were on the verge of calling the cops when it stopped as suddenly as it started. I can't believe their next-door neighbors can't hear them better than we can and haven't complained. thank scott we're moving soon. I hear our new upstairs neighbors have a newborn which will be a welcome respite after the Stompy McPoundersons.
very very glad it's friday. we've been short-staffed all week at work, i've barely slept the last few nights, and i've been struggling to stay awake since i got home (if i fall asleep too early, i'll be up at an uncomfortable hour).
However, i had a really nice time last night. went to a former co-worker's (and still very good friend of Mush's) house last night for an Eid dinner with Usman and Saadia and had an occasion to wear the fabulous new outfit I have. I've gotten a lot of compliments for it and Moien's wife is a fabulous hostess. Their daughter, Miriam, is the cutest little thing and when I handed her her Eidy gift she was too shy to say thank you but with very little prodding she ran up to me and gave me a giant hug. love the warm fuzzies from the little 'uns.
a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 22:11
(1) comments Monday, September 29, 2008
Whoohooo! Three days in a row! I think that has to be some kinda personal record. I am now (mucho belatedly) watching the presidential debates which i dvr'ed. While this is the most animated that i've ever seen mccain (well, for *him*), i still can't stand to listen to him or watch him. it's not quite the nails-on-the-chalkboard that GWB has been but, after watching him for a while, i feel as though i ate a ton of bad food and there's no tummy aid in the house. :::acidy belch:::: that point aside, while i feel like i'm doing what I should by watching the debates, i still don't feel as though i've learned a whole lot and some of that may have to do with the fact that my mind is solidly made up as to whom i'm voting for.now that i've finished patting myself on the back for the relatively easy task of slightly changing the appearance of my blog, my next task will be to attempt to figure out how to permanently add more pictures since I want to display my kitty babies. if i disappear for a few days, i've inadvertently caused my blog to self-destruct and am actively seeking tavie's help to fix it.This is of Mitt-Mitt (or, as he is sometimes referred to, "Plopper") on the left and Chu-Chu (or Chooch), who is posing less than ladylike as is her frequent habit, on the right.There is another kitty story that those who don't live in my immediate vicinity may not know about. It's not entirely pleasant but such is life. Soon after I adopted Chu-Chu and Mitt-Mitt, they came down with upper respiratory symptoms complete with eye irritation. Pretty soon, Simon also had the same symptoms. We were all constantly at the vet and frequently changing meds in an attempt to get the symptoms under control. We finally found out that they all had a herpesvirus infection (actually quite common in cats) but, by then, simon had developed an ulcer in his eye that (as per a veterinarian ophthalmologist) went right down to the basement (i.e. last) membrane. it was heartbreaking and we worked like hell to keep him on track with his medications but ultimately the pain was way too much and our only option was to remove the eye. His pain was instantaneously alleviated and he returned to our old Simon right away. He's still my handsome baby boy (see below) but it broke my heart to have to do that and I felt displaced guilt for some time. but now I have one BIG happy kitty family...okay, i admit it, occasionally simon gets into a mood like an uncle who's sick of having the "kids" around; however, for the most part, i'm very glad I have each one of them!
a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 21:23
(0) comments Sunday, September 28, 2008
getting really sleeping but trying like heck to start a new habit of blogging regularly. today was the first day in a reh-healy long time that i was oot-and-aboot with my friends and i enjoyed myself immensely. i hope that our outing was cathartic for pena or that she at least liked having us around : D at the very least, it was cathartic for me. and i learned a new game!
i'm going through that mood again where, whenever i talk to my family, i feel a bit guilty for not being around. barbara's going through a slew of problems and whatnot and my mom will never ever tell it to me as it truly is but thankfully i have my sister cathy as my eyes and ears and i have to remind myself that, if the fit was actually hitting the shan, she would give it to me straight.
a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 23:44
I know, I know...long time no see. I hope you guys haven't forgotten about me. I'm not sure what lit a fire under my ass (tavie gave up ages ago) but HTML-illiterate me somehow figured out how to change the picture and background color and now, here I am, blogging for the first time in ages!!!
So what's new, you ask??? Not much (just kidding). Well, since I've last posted, I moved in with my friend Mush (Moose if you're an avid reader of Tavie's blog) and things have been good. We just ended our lease here (where I've lived most of the time since I moved here) and will be moving to Mush's previous apartment which his old landlord gutted, renovated, put in all new applicances plus a backdoor so we have access to the backyard, and we already know our neighbors who will be across the hall. Mush's best friend from back home will be taking the apartment across the hall with his lovely wife, Saadia, which means the four of us will have sole "custody" of the backyard. Plus Mush is renting a parking space from a neighbor two doors down so he doesn't have to worry about parking his car on the street. Everything is coming together nicely. I've made Saadia promise to teach me how to cook...perhaps we should invest in a fire extinguisher.
I must say, however, that I have not been the bestest friend I can be as far as keeping in contact, even with my friends who live a stone's throw away. I've had a health issue the effects of which kinda snuck up on me, like when you see someone/something every day and the gradual changes evade you. I found myself in a situation where I never seemed to feel like doing anything but, except for the guilt, didn't realize there was a problem. The closest analogy I came up with was that I was living the life of a depressed person without actually being depressed. Finally, I get my bloodwork done and find that I'm horribly anemic. But not until I starting working on fixing the problem and started to feel better (I've got a long ways to go) did I realize just how bad I let myself get. But, as a result, no matter how "legitimate" my reason, I find that I've distanced myself from my friends. Now, it's gonna be a while before I have the energy level I should, but I'm going to start making a conscious effort to reconnect and reinforce my friendships. Lucky for me, with my friends, I should have no trouble with that.
a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 01:49
(3) comments Wednesday, August 30, 2006
what the fuck did I do?
a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 00:20
(1) comments Monday, August 07, 2006
i almost sprayed water all over my screen...
The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy
In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh.
You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum.
Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho
a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 23:11
