tavie.com

So, tell you what, I'm completely empty and gloomy. (I always feel this way, it's not new.) But anyway that's why my blogging's been so sucky. I honestly have nothing to say and I don't stray from my dull routine and I don't think of happy things and that's that. I'm not going to start talking about current events except as they relate to me, so there's really nothing to talk about.

As they relate to me, however, is that Gina is going to take Red Cross training and go help out the Katrina victims. I wish I had the energy or time or even desire to do such a thing, but nothing can get me out of my fear-of-strangers crap, not even hideous national tragedy. So, woo-hoo, I'm a very small selfish person, what else is new. I'll donate what money I can (which isn't much) but that's about all I can do.

All I really do is watch my television-obsessions du jour (right now, Celebrity Fit Club having ended, it's reruns of House, episodes of Star Trek: TNG that I download from the internet, and The Facts of Life on On Demand) and feel kind of sad and lonely (I know I have lots of friends.) Yeah, I come home, I make dinner, I watch tv with my Goils, sometimes I play some DDR and then I shower and watch more tv and then I stare at the inside of my eyelids or at the ceiling for two hours.

I couldn't sleep last night because we had the a.c. off and someone else had the fan and I was too lazy to go shut all the windows and turn on the a.c. and besides it would have woken everyone up and the PSE&G bills have been disgusting. Also, I couldn't sleep because I just don't. Ever. Fall asleep. Before. 1 am. Ever.

I dreamed, oh, I dreamed I was back in our old house in Benshonhurst. (I always dream that. That's the most recurring theme in my dreams.) In this one, I was babysitting a little infant dressed only in a diaper, a little boy with honey-blond hair and I was afraid he was going to cry and vomit on me and I kept wondering who would want me to babysit an infant as I don't know anything about babies. I swung the baby around and he laughed and then he vomited on me and cried and I thought, "His mother's going to kill me, who left me in charge? Who?" and then I called for Cheryl to help me and she came and cleaned up the vomit.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 7:24 PM | shower me with attention