tavie.com

OK, I guess I should blog a little better than that.

Every day is the same. I have no desire to do anything. I'm losing touch with my friends; the only reason I see anyone regularly is because I live with Gina, and because I go to work and some of my friends are also there.

When I think of things I want, all I can think of is staying in bed all day. Sometimes I do stay in bed all day - usually on Sundays. On Sundays I stay in bed so long that I get restless and can feel my body craving movement, but still I don't move. Those nights I have to take Benadryl to fall asleep. I love falling asleep. I find it difficult, even when I've not slept much the night before. I'm tired all day.

I can't breathe very well.

I have no drive, ambition, desire, or wishes beyond the barest physical needs - sleep, food, hydration, freedom from pain. Occasionally these are interspersed with more specific desires - the craving for yorkshire pudding, or missing the sight of trees. I rarely want any of these specific things strongly enough to actually go about getting them, and they soon pass.

This has been the case for such a long time that I can't remember what it's like not to be like this.

Aren't you glad I updated my blog?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:05 PM | shower me with attention