tavie.com

I think that if I lived by myself in a smelly glass cage and crapped where I drank and bathed and beat up my posessions because I had nothing else to do, I'd be just about as useful to myself and to society as I am right now.

No offense, Progo. I swear I don't keep you around so I can see how good I have it in comparison to your sad, neglected turtle life. In fact, I feel sorry that you have such a rotten caretaker, and I'm also jealous that you have that lovely shell you can pull into whenever you feel threatened.

When I feel threatened I go vaguely catatonic, or get very sleepy. I think my metabolism slows down and I go into an almost hibernatory state, complete with glassy stare and clammy skin.

But mostly I just feel bored, like you, little turtle. I'm sorry you're not happy, but I can't afford a backyard with a pond for you to live in, and you'd be healthier if you ate what you're supposed to instead of just what tastes good.

Yeah, I know. Don't look at me that way.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:37 PM | shower me with attention