tavie.com

Sleep log again.

I get so damn TIRED of lying here with my eyes screwed shut trying to think of sleepy things. I can only do that so many nights in a row. The other night, I was doing that for an hour, just tossing around not sleeping and stuck in that awful zone, and after a full hour of that I grabbed my pillow and went and flopped down on the couch for the change of scene. You know when your bed just becomes intolerable because you've been lying there for so long trying to sleep in it? So I got like four hours on the couch, and then went back to my cold bed and got another hour or so before my alarm went off.

Tonight after 15 minutes of the flippity-flop I gave up and went online to order groceries.

My brain hurrrrrrrrrrts. I just don't know what to think about that will shut my brain off.

And lately, I wake up every single night now at 4, or 5, or 6 in the morning, too, and then go back to sleep until 8:10 or :15. Which is the last possible second I can be in bed and still get to the bus on time.

If only I could be awake when my body wanted to and go to bed when my body wanted to. If I could read until 2 in the morning and wake up for work at 10 or 11, I'd be so much happier. But if I had to leave work at 8 or 9 every night, I'd be unhappy, too.

Why don't I just roll over and die already.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:59 AM | shower me with attention