tavie.com

Sybil: If I find out you spent the money on that horse, you know what I'll do.
Basil (muttering): You'll have to sew 'em back on, first.

Furthermore:

Manuel: I know nahthing. I am from Barthelona.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:27 AM | shower me with attention

Friday, January 02, 2004

My mother and I are wearing matching nightshirts right now. By accident. They're light yellow and covered with smiling monkeys in socks. The words "monkey see" and "monkey do" are scattered throughout.

It's sick. We look more like twins than my twin and I do.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:20 PM | shower me with attention

I have sleek black kittens, like seals.

Except that they're hardly kittens and they don't swim.

Sweet babies.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:23 AM | shower me with attention

I'm back home for the time being. Not sure why, really. Drop off some medicine for my mom, see the kitties, stuff like that. My Stinka was in a world of ecstasy tonight, stretched out on my chest, paws working the air, gettin' the belly rubbins'. Mom says he hasn't sat on anyone else's lap since I've been gone. And dear Miss Maya Moo has resorted to cuddling up with Dad, which is quite a cute sight to see.

So far 2004 is exactly like 2003, except without sugar.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:15 AM | shower me with attention

Thursday, January 01, 2004

Happy New Year, my duckies! Aren't you glad you're not there right now, like the crazy people?

Fuck off, 2003. FUCK OFF!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:14 AM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Welcome, bugling!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:45 AM | shower me with attention

Happy Goose day. She's 19 now. Wha happen'? Just yesterday she was an impressive 14-year-old music snob with writing skills that made me hate myself, and now she's an impressive 19-year-old music snob with writing skills that make me hate myself. Wha happen'?

Am I the only person who still calls her Goose now? Should I stop? Because... no.

Overly literal ways to celebrate Goose day:

1. Eat a roast goose. (She always gets mad at me for suggesting this, but I consider it a delicious homage.)
2. Watch Mr Magoo cartoons.
3. Write palindromes.
4. Honk your horn.
5. Fly.

More appropriate ways to celebrate Goose day:

1. Listen to music that only cool people have heard of.
2. Write a children's novel.
3. Get a radio show.
4. Go to Yale.
5. Have shiny hair.

Or you could make a self-parodying fan site for her. 'Member that?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:40 AM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

As of tomorrow, I won't have worn a bra for a whole week.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:25 PM | shower me with attention

Guess what: I'm kickin' the coffee habit. That's right, once again, I'm going off of caffeine.

Pain and misery, here I come! Let the near-coma begin!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:56 AM | shower me with attention

Monday, December 29, 2003

Dammit, I have to buy two new sets of knitting needles for this project. I wanted to start it, like, right this very instant, seeing as my last pair of fuzzyfeet (will YOU be one of the lucky recipients?) are fulling in the washer right now.

Oh well, guess I'll work on the sweater that I don't have anywhere near enough yarn for. (Yet.)

Too bad Santa couldn't get me the Denise interchangeable needles. Maybe for my birthday.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:11 PM | shower me with attention

Gina got home last night. She's got strep throat. She's in bed asleep. I know she's sick because I got up at 3 pm and it's 4 now and she's still in bed.

I'm not much of a nursemaid. I try hard but I'm just not good at taking care of the sick. They never seem to want what I can offer them. My sister is much better at it.

I've been requested to do something called "drop(ping) (her) prescription off". I hope that's as easy as it sounds. I've never been asked to do something so exotic as drop off a prescription before.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:11 PM | shower me with attention

Sunday, December 28, 2003

I can't get enough of this Kirstie Alley Pier One ad. "Santa Baby, a comfy little sofa for two-- light blue..." There should be special prisons made for these kind of people.

Oh, so, yeah: I manage to take care of the house well enough for a week without any major mishaps: no floods, no fires, no major stains, no spills, nothing broken or spoiled, etc. And then, an hour and a half before she's supposed to arrive home, I dye a batch of yarn (with food coloring, not Kool-Aid, as an experiment) and stink up the entire place like vinegar.

I mean, it stinks so bad that I can smell it, so it must be bad.

What was that recipe for potpourri again?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:49 PM | shower me with attention

These. I'm gonna make me a pair of these.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 7:30 PM | shower me with attention

I've finally started reading Gregory Maguire's Wicked, after owning the book for two years and constantly putting it off. I figure I'd better get some reading-of-books-I-already-own out of the way before my Christmas presents from Amazon arrive (they include such books as Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom-- the print version, finally-- and The Wolves of the Calla-- the print version, finally. Hmm, I really don't like reading books on the computer...)

So I decided to start Wicked after listening to some songs from the musical on Rhapsody and becoming enamored of Kristen Chenoweth's performance of "Popular". Plus, I think my mom got us tickets to see the musical, so I want to have read the book first so I can be nice and snarky like all the critics have been. (Stephen Schwartz's most forgettable score, evidentally. I hate it when critics ruin things for me. There are some good songs in there, so far.)

Now I am going to order some Chinese food and watch more reruns of Curb Your Enthusiasm. The other day I saw an episode featuring Tim Kazurinsky! Ha ha ha!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:07 PM | shower me with attention

Julie Andrews is back at Mint Manor. It's not my fault. She was on CNN last night and The Sound of frickin' Music was on tv tonight.

I have to get these things out of my system when there's no one home to be annoyed by them.

I'm thinking I need to cultivate a drag act-- a Julie Andrews revue. There's no reason why a woman can't do drag; Dolly Parton does, and Mae West did... yeah, any good diva is doing female drag. I'm thinking sequined nun's habit and honey-coloured pixie-cut wig. Or maybe I should do a glitzy Mary Poppins.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:07 AM | shower me with attention