tavie.com

This has to be quick, because old people don't have wireless networks so I'm on the toll-free AOL number.

I'm at what I call Disney's Elder Manse, but what is really this incredibly swanky Hyatt-slash-Senior's-Apartments. It's set up exactly, exactly like one of the better Disney resorts, but half of it is hotel and the other half is apartments where over-65's live. Ade's adorable mom and her husband live here. They're in Florida now so we're staying here tonight, and then going back to the beach house tomorrow.

Kitana got in last night. I was going to go with them to the AAA's today, but I finally got more than 4 hours sleep last night and it's just not enough, so I'm here resting and watching the tee-vee. I'm all schmoozed out anyway. I'm not much with the schmoozing. I'm more with the snoozing.

On a final note, Stephen King('s publishing company) has some nerve charging $35 for the latest Dark Tower book. $35. Geez. That brings the list of Things That Santa Absolutely Must Get Me No Matter What up to:

Kids in the Hall DVDs

Aimee Mann special edition "Lost in Space" CD

Stephen King's The Wolves of the Calla

That interchangeable knitting needles set

So, Kirsten, please tell Santa I need those things or I will die. As if she isn't reading this right now. Go away, Santa.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:44 AM | shower me with attention

Thursday, November 20, 2003

I'm in the lobby of a Chicago Hilton right now and I feel just wretched. I think the problem was that I had so much damned caffeine yesterday that I woke last night after only four hours of sleep with heart palpitations, then couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. And now here I am, consuming even more caffeine so I can stay awake, and just aching all over with exhaustion. It is impossible to sit through paper readings and lectures when you feel like this. It just hurts.

The worst is, I can't even nap because although no one would bother me if I fell asleep on a lobby couch, I'm too caffeinated to do anything but sit here and ache.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:59 AM | shower me with attention

I'm in an incredible beach house on the shore of Lake Michigan in an enormous bed in a room all to myself.

Yet I keep waking up after only a few hours' sleep at a time. This fragmented sleep results in hyperconsumption of caffeine during the day, which leads to more waking up at 2 am with heart palpitations.

Lucky those waves on the shore are so soothing and rhythmic.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:49 AM | shower me with attention

Monday, November 17, 2003

I have faith that my charming, apologetic, explanatory email to my professor will make everything okay again. Either that or I'll just blow her away with my final paper.

As for art class, they'll just have to wait until next week for the unveiling of Scary Jesus Mask. Poor dears.

But I just couldn't fall asleep until almost 10 a.m.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:31 PM | shower me with attention

Didn't go to school today. That's three missed anthro classes in a row. Three, three, THREE missed anthro classes in a row, ah-ah-ah! (Lightning crashes)

Kill me.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:22 PM | shower me with attention

I think it's nice when you can point to something and say, "This is the stupidest thing I have ever created." This week's art homework, an acrylic-on-canvas which I think I will entitle Scary Jesus Mask, definitely wins the prize.

I have zero feel for composition, balance, harmony, texture, chiaroscuro, perspective or meaning. And I don't care. Jimmy crack corn.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:31 AM | shower me with attention

Why don't I remember Slotek writing about Kitana at that long-ago charity auction in his column (quoting me in the process, which makes it an even better story, in my opinion. ;)

I know I should go to bed.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:20 AM | shower me with attention

BABY!

GAW!

(c/o Marie!)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:38 AM | shower me with attention

Should I sleep, paint my homework, or read a Harry Potter book?

The first one.

Will I sleep, paint my homework, or read a Harry Potter book?

I'm betting on the last.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:27 AM | shower me with attention

Sunday, November 16, 2003

So I'm going to Chicago for the Anthro Convention (my... third? I think?) and my flight is on Tuesday morning (which means... no sleep! And two missed days of classes) and I come back the following Monday morning. Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!

I'm working on a personal art project that I find extraordinarily hilarious, but if I weren't the one making it I would find it stupid and offensive. I can't wait 'til it's ready to be scanned. What name do you like better: "Ice Cream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" or "The Disney Fatass Collection"?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:28 PM | shower me with attention

Went to Andrew's birthday dinner tonight, starring both of his parents, which was lovely. And my memories of Christmas caroling in snowy 1980's Brooklyn with my parents and their weird friends are absolutely not false ones; apparently, Uncle Tom actually has this documented on Betamax video.

In other news, if I could become Hand-Dyed Kool-Aid Fuzzy Hand-Felted Hand-Knitted Slipper Maker to the Stars, I would do it for a living. I made the most amazing pair of slippers for $4 in yarn and $0.90 in Kool-Aid. I should be living in Hollywood, charging the cast of Friends $200 a pair.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:17 PM | shower me with attention

Shit. That is so much more money than I can afford...

...Santa Claus?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:54 AM | shower me with attention

Saw Littleman tonight at the UCB Theatre, starring the hilarious Mike Birbiglia, a guy who thinks he's the new Terry Jones but really isn't all that funny, a girl who was very funny even though she made fun of people who get married at Disney World which made my friends laugh at me because I would totally get married at Disney World in an unironic way and they know it, a guy named Conrad who was okay but didn't particularly stand out, and, my personal sketch-comedy favourite, Grandma Guy (from such bloggy anecdotes as the one about me being in a supermarket muttering to myself). Grandma Guy's real name is Brian Donovan. He is the funniest improvisor since Kevin McDonald.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:42 AM | shower me with attention