tavie.com

The issue right now is that the cavity that I never got checked out is turning throbby, and my gum around it is sore. I am now afraid the tooth is in big trouble. And it's all my fault for never finding a new dentist. Which I still haven't done.

Ever since I read that a symptom of an abcessed tooth is a bad taste in the mouth, I've had a bad taste in my mouth.

Pray for my tooth. Gina is gonna help me find a dentist tomorrow.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:13 AM | shower me with attention

Friday, October 24, 2003

I will not let this lost knitting needle drive me crazy. I will not let this lost knitting needle drive me crazy. I will not I will not I will not.

Hey, so I came into the living room yesterday and my dad was sitting on the couch laughing his head off at some movie. The movie? In the Army Now, starring Pauly Shore.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:36 PM | shower me with attention

The actor playing Jesus in Mel Gibson's controversial film got struck by lightning twice during the shoot.

Is to laugh.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:59 AM | shower me with attention

Fulling RULES!!!!

(Jargon note: "fulling" refers to the process of creating felt out of knitted fibers; "felting" refers to the same process applied to "raw", unspun wool, resulting in the stiffer cloth that you think of when you think of felt.)

The sherbert mittens are awesome. The hand-(Kool-aid)-painted colours turned so beautiful, like a Monet painting. Who should I give them to? They're small (they fit me comfortably, but just) so it can't be anyone with man-hands.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:23 AM | shower me with attention

Thursday, October 23, 2003

My mom called me today from a Border's she had wandered into. Barenaked Ladies were doing an instore concert there and she bought me a copy of their new CD and got it autographed. Thank you, Mom. Now stop reading my blog. (I'm going to write a song by that name: "Mom, Stop Reading My Blog".)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:00 PM | shower me with attention

The only way I can fall asleep before 7 a.m. now is through artificial means. I did the Nyquil at 3 a.m. last night and managed to drag myself out of bed before 2, with effort. This is the first time in two weeks I've had to be in school before 5:30 (due to my anthro professor giving birth, 7-lb 9-oz boy and now she's back and grading papers like nothing happened).

This isn't working for me. This isn't working for me. Maybe it's the two slices of cold pizza I insisted on consuming with my coffee before I left. I usually don't eat before I leave and usually I don't eat carbs at all. There have been no groceries bought in the past two weeks so I've been subsisting on a mostly-carb diet when I'm not at Mint Manor and as we have established in this space, carbs make me hate myself.

This isn't working for me. The sick stomach and exhaustion and difficulty breathing in anthro class isn't working out for me. Difficulty breathing due to, circle one:
a. asthma
b. boredom
c. eating carbs and hating myself
d. all of the above
e. none of the above.

Correct answer: b. I have been known to have difficulty breathing when I become bored. It's true. I don't know why. Also I was diagnosed with mild asthma long ago, then forgot about it, but I think it never went away. Or maybe it's that I'm too fat to breathe. Sometimes I think that even though it's not true, and that may lead to psychosomatic constriction of air passages. In other words, I'm hating myself to the point of asphyxiation. This is a possibility, too.

Someone call me
a. a physician
b. a dentist
c. a psychiatrist
d. a sleep specialist
e. all of the above
f. none of the above, I don't have health insurance.

Correct answer?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:25 PM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

On a lighter note, I tried to add Patton Oswalt to my Friendster list, figuring he was probably fake but not really caring one way or the other (because a Patton Pog would be a great coup!) and got this message from him:

October 21, 2003 9:27 PM

Subject:
Are you...?

Message:
The Tavie from NY who used to write such nice
things about me on those dejanews.com discussion
groups?

PATTON

Hee hee, he's hoid-a me. Of course he still didn't add me because he wants to "keep his list tight". Which is so something that he would do.

I hope he tours again soon. You'd think with the success of Lord of the Rings that he'd ride his Hobbit thing as far as it could go...

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:58 PM | shower me with attention

So it's true: Elliot Smith died. Suicide. That fucking sucks. He's one of those singers who I love every single song of his I hear but because of my peculiar CD-fearing nature (and lack of cash) have not yet purchased any of his albums. But I keep meaning to.

There are four or five of his songs that I'm familiar with and I just love them. It started when my friend Robert sent me a copy of "Waltz#2". Which is the song that hooked my sister. Incredible song. Reminds us both of a mutual (former) friend.

I thought for sure it was a hoax because I only saw one post about it last night on a gossip group and couldn't find any supporting news stories. But it turned out to be one of the rare instances where I found out the news before most of the internet did.

So, here's some further confirmation that this is a terrible fucking world we live in.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:48 PM | shower me with attention

This is a hoax, yes?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:59 AM | shower me with attention

I just saw a great episode of M*A*S*H. It had Hawkeye squabbling with that visiting doctor guy who was played by his dad Robert Alda, and it featured his brother, Antony Alda. And Antony Alda was really cute. They's a handsome family.

Alan Alda is recovering from an emergency appendectomy in Chile right now. I hope he's okay.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:59 AM | shower me with attention

I just figgered somepin out. When I am on a knitting kick, I don't really read much for pleasure. And when I'm on a reading kick, I don't really knit.

Apparently I can't do both at once. Each phase typically lasts several weeks.

So no more taking books out of the library for me. I have mittens to make.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:03 AM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

The Lost Epcot. I love this site I love this site I love this site.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:32 PM | shower me with attention

Speaking of my recent Limewire kick, I downloaded the most fascinating, disturbing Disney cartoon the other day. There are very few of the old cartoons that I haven't seen (over and over) and this is one I'd never seen.

I still want to see "Der Fuhrer's Face" but it's hard to find.

Oh man, I'm gonna get some ugly search referrals if I say any more.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:28 PM | shower me with attention

I think perhaps "Invisible Ink", Aimee Mann, but that's really stretching it. I have to be super-hormonal for that one. Maybe "Susan"... nah.

Oh, got three more: "I'll Cover You (Reprise)" (you just shut up, if you have any comments I invite you to keep them to yourself; "Pathetique Sonata 2nd Movement", Beethoven; "This Will Be Our Year", Zombies.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:58 PM | shower me with attention

I want to make a CD of songs that make me cry. But I can only think of three. I know there are more because I am a weepy, sentimental person. But I can't think of what they are right now. Other than:

"Fire and Rain", James Taylor
"Some Fantastic Place", Squeeze
"Midnight Radio", Hedwig

Geez. So I am opening up a poll: do any songs make you cry, and what are they?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:53 PM | shower me with attention

That conditioner-soaking worked like a dream. I can wear the scarf next to my neck all nice and soft. So it'll be a gift for someone I like. Whoever that may be.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:06 AM | shower me with attention

My mom brought me tons of Lush stuff. She is such a good mommy, except for the whole reading-my-blog thing.

She bought me this shampoo Cynthia Sylvia Stout, which (I see from the website) is more expensive than I thought it would be but she didn't say a word, just bought it for me. It is now my favourite shampoo ever. It smells like beer. I like Lush products because they smell strong and my sense of smell is so bad.

She also got me my favourite Lush product, and the insomniac gift set, and this one for the Buffy reference, and this one for the Middle Earth reference (but it's a great exfoliating soap), and that excellent demon soap I love.

I really appreciate this. We are all having our financial difficulties, but my mummy works hard and still manages to buy me luxurious gifties. Sure, I have to use my last five dollars to buy a Metrocard (and a coffee? Ooh!) tomorrow, but at least I have nice shiny hair.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:59 AM | shower me with attention

Who needs sleep when you have Virtual Reality Disney World?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:55 AM | shower me with attention

Monday, October 20, 2003

Mom just said, "Do you think you are the QUEEN of the Web, sitting there like a spider with all your legs stretching out? Well did I name you Octavia, sitting there on your Web! I should have named you Arachnia!"

Har har! I'm doing my homework, mummy, not surfing the web.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:57 PM | shower me with attention

I've just noticed this lately, but it's probably been going on for years-- my hair, at any given time during the day, sticks out like Bozo the Clown.

I just realized it now when I caught a picture of myself on a friend's Fotolog. My hair was sticking straight out in either direction. Just the stray parts that don't make it into the ponytail, my default hair situation (I won't call it a hairstyle) of late. Quite a lot of it just doesn't make it into the ponytail and ends up standing out on the sides of my head.

Bozo. Bozo the clown. My new name.

I wish I had the scanner plugged in, I'd draw you a diagram.

Addendum: Who needs the scanner when you can draw with your thumb? This is what my hair looks like. Boy, it's hard to draw with a touchpad.

By the way, I CAN'T FUCKETY FUCKING GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING FUCKETY FUCKING SLEEEEEEEEEP. And I only slept for five hours on the futon today! I should be in a COMA right now!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:05 AM | shower me with attention

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Today I finished the ocean scarf. I will soak it carefully in conditioner and hope it comes out softer. If not, I will give it to someone I don't like.

I also packed up the baby sweater and will send it to Crissy sometime this week.

Now I've embarked upon a new adventure: fulling. That's the process of turning a knitted fabric into felt with the application of extreme water temperature changes, soap and friction. I'm going to try to knit a pair of mittens with the Kool-Aid yarn-- the least attractive one, that turned out to look like orange-and-lime sherbert (pretty, but not the prettiest)-- and full it. You knit it extra large and then full it until it shrinks to the right size. Could be a big mess. Time will tell.

I definitely don't want the sea scarf to full, so I have to make sure the water temperature doesn't change suddenly when I soak it.

Is anyone still reading? You poor, hard-up nerds, you. I'm sorry.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:37 PM | shower me with attention

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:16 PM | shower me with attention

I think most people are walking around suppressing abundances of despair and disappointment, and those that have trouble suppressing them are either given chemicals by law-abiding health professionals, or are ruining their lives with chemicals that they obtain themselves.

I had to take Introduction to Religion my first semester and I got kind of a lot, jumbled and fragmented but a lot, out of Zen and the Art of Archery. Something about rhythm and detachment and ultimate reality. Knit two together, knit, knit, knit&purl, knit&purl, knit, knit, knit, slipslipsknit, repeat, repeat, repeat... look, waves... look, a scarf... look, nirvana...

It's important to keep your hopes and expectations to a minimum. And also not to stay up too late by yourself thinking. Especially when there's nothing good on Nick@Nite. And keep your world small. Some people are cut out to battle giants. Others are not. I don't have the constitution. And as long as I can be of no help, I'm going to hide.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:30 AM | shower me with attention

Today we had Indian food in an Indian neighbourhood not far from here and then we walked around the neighbourhood and wandered into a musty store that was, no kidding, more cluttered than my dad's "den"-- I mean, mountains of stuff, and one accesible aisle so narrow you had to walk sideways-- and the stuff was amazing and I bought an orange-red cotton skirt with gold spangly threads running through it for $7. I saw it and immediately needed to posess it. We are definitely going back to that place. It's called "Singh's Department Store", an hilarious name for the most cluttered thrift store I've ever seen.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:15 AM | shower me with attention