tavie.com

I got an email from a girl who's been reading my blog. Tell me if this story isn't familiar:

From Brooklyn. 16 years old. Years of severe depression. Dropped out of high school at 15. Classified by Board of Ed as "school phobic", sent a childlike tutor. Going to Hunter in the fall. Huge KITH fan.

Eerie, eerie similarity. It's Little Me.

I'm not the only one who does it this way, world.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:57 PM | shower me with attention

I've always found Stan Laurel attractive.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:40 PM | shower me with attention

Friday, October 10, 2003

Gina just bought the greatest thing: It DVD with cast commentary.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:28 PM | shower me with attention

Nos habebit humus.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:08 AM | shower me with attention

Thursday, October 09, 2003

I almost fucking overslept for my anthro class AGAIN. My alarm didn't go off, or I slept through it. My sister shouted "TAVIE!" at 2:05 p.m. (class is at 2:45) and I bolted up and managed to make it in by 2:50.

I have a hard time waking because until my meds and the caffeine kick in, I am effectively still asleep, though my eyes are open. So I didn't actually wake up until halfway through the class. Luckily, Office Sub Laura got me up to speed. Nice girl.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:10 PM | shower me with attention

Blogging from Kirsten's computer because my motherfucking power cord broke again, la la la, thank you Kirsten for letting me use your computer, la la la...

So we went to see Eddie Izzard last night. I've seen him four times on his last four tours, and although he rocked each time, each time the venues get progressively ~~smaller~~ LARGER (duh!) and the shows get correspondingly crappier.

The first time I saw him was during his "Glorious" tour and the venue was P.S. 122 and he was right up my nose and it was just the funniest thing I'd ever seen live at the time.

The next one, "Dress to Kill", at Westbeth on Bank Street was also pretty crampety, but a little larger. It was good because there was beer. I saw Tracey Ullman in the scuzzy ladies' room. But it wasn't as Glorious as Glorious. The crampety-er the better with Izzard; he makes these little worlds, involving lots of mime and subtle gestures and things, and so if he's in your face it's just funnier.

In 2000 there was "Circle" at the Town Hall where I almost fell asleep because it was way too big and our seats were off to the side. But he was funny, get me not wrong. Izzard he is. Funny he is.

So last night we saw "Sexie" at Manhattan Theatre Club and we were way up in the second tier-- there were tiers-- and he was a tiny ant, and hard to hear so I only got every other joke, and when I'm in a high seat at a theatre I get headaches trying to focus on the stage. I think I'm a bit nearsighted. Distances tend to blur. I should get that checked out. Anyway, so he was funny, I'm sure he was because I laughed, but I missed half the funny.

I miss the old days when he used to tell Macintosh jokes whilst practically sitting in my lap. I could use a Macintosh joke right now because my motherfucking power cord is broken.

Also, I took Nyquil to sleep and I'm up three hours later. Uh-oh.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:03 AM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

New power cord; power cord#3; a month old. Not made by Apple. Some other brand of power cord.

Tip snapped off. I picked it up today and found the tip snapped off.

Doesn't charge.

An hour of power left and this machine is dead.

Why why why why why why why why why?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:38 PM | shower me with attention

The first person who ever called me diva is very, very sick. He's got cancer, the kind that doesn't get better.

I've only met him once. He's the best friend of one of my best friends. The one time we met was an unforgettable experience of Thai food and stories. This is one of the most incredible storytellers I've ever met. He vibrates vitality. He's bizarre and wonderful and strange and bigger-than-life.

We only met once in person, and I only spoke to him once online, but it was during that chat that he saw straight through to what I think is my True Calling, that of the Utterly Fabulous (in the gayest sense of the word), and he said--typed-- "Oh, she's a diva, all right." And I have been ever since. Never looked back.

This is a very cruel world that we live in and I don't even know the half of it.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:07 PM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

I did not go to either of my classes today and I am forfeiting both those papers. (I still have two forfeits to save for the rest of the semester.)

I can hand in my art homework late next week. It will be my first handed-in-late assignment for any class, ever.

Whatever. I feel cruddy.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:21 PM | shower me with attention

Thank you, Kirsten. This CD is just the ticket.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:15 AM | shower me with attention

I officially use my powers of magic and supernaturalness to extend Sarah C Day a full extra day. It is now both Monday and Tuesday. Because I missed it yesterday, due to being asleep and then being depressed.

But in between the sleep-and-depression, there was a meal with some really good Goils, and an entertaining movie. So I think that the goodness, the happy filling in the sandwich of yesterday, is a symbolically accurate illustration of the Happy Happy Happy that Sarah C's birthday should stand for.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:28 AM | shower me with attention

So, and I've been thinking, and so, does anyone know where I could get some old Donald Duck comics to read? Like, old-school Donald Duck?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:35 AM | shower me with attention

I slept so late today. But it wasn't very many hours. But it was so late. So backwards. So I hate me.

I haven't done either of the two anthro papers that need to be done by tomorrow. But I'm so tired.

I did the thing with the colors. For the class. With the colors. It didn't make any sense and it came out wrong but I did it. I tried. I tried and what else does he want? I learned so much more about colors by playing with Kool-Aid this weekend then I did with those stupid $54 papers.

But I'm so tired, so tired, and I haven't done either of the anthros, and I'm so tired. So I tried to sleep and then when I closed my eyes I couldn't. I COULDN'T.

And it tastes like I've just drunk milk but I haven't. Why does my mouth feel like I've just drunk milk when I haven't?

And the Martian Lip is back. I think I'm getting sick, maybe. And I want to get sick so I can have a valid excuse to feel bad. I want to get sick. Which is sick. So there, I've won.

And I have friends with real problems, with dads who are sick and family friends who are dying and apartments being lost and jobs not being found. So how's about I shut up, right?

And also I'm so tired. But I couldn't and I can't.

So does that mean I should try to do the anthro papers?

They never end they never do they never ever ever end they don't end and I feel so old I am so old I feel so old to not have DONE anything and I'm so tired but I couldn't and it tastes like milk and the colours don't look the same where they should and do look the same where they shouldn't and what does the fur trade have to do with anthropological theory and why do I have to why do I have to why don't I why don't I why don't I substitute me for him substitute my tea for gin substitute you for my mum I should learn about rock and roll from Jack Black and I shouldn't try to be funny or anything ever and I shouldn't taste milk and I shouldn't be awake and I should've graduated and dated and read those articles and written those papers that never ever ever never ever ever never ever end ever never

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:12 AM | shower me with attention

Monday, October 06, 2003

Subj: Not enough Snake.
Date: 10/6/2003 5:29:30 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Tavie
To: Kitana

Dear Kitana:

I am writing you this Very Stern Email to inform you that me and Erin have been having a really super one hundred percent INTENSE Degrassi marathon with the tape you made me a million years ago and the tape just ENDED with the EXACT same episode it began with and it's a CRAPPY EPISODE with that girl L.D. I do not like her. Nor do I like that Ho Bag Stephanie and the THIRTY MILLION EPISODES ABOUT HER that were on the tape. (But I do love Arthur and he was in them a lot, so that was cool.)

By the way, that tape was great and thanks for making it for me. Sorry it took me so long to watch it.

But anyway, back to my Very Stern Email: There was nowhere near enough SNAKE or SPIKE episodes, and Joey wore too many berets and not enough fedoras. And those drunken twins are super-creepy. But that's not your fault. Twins are creepy.

Anyway... since Degrassi is like crack and I am now going through withdrawals, this email is simply a by-product of my cold-turkey-style cessation of super-awesome viewership of this most excellent crack. Why didn't you just send me vitamin pills like Joey Jeremiah did in that one episode?

I love you.

Tavie

P.S. Caitlin is super-cute.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:31 AM | shower me with attention