Goth Sunshine
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came back from the wake a little while ago. one of the lieutenants stated to a friend of mine that it was the largest turnout for a wake he had ever seen, and he has been to dozens upon dozens of military funerals. the wake was scheduled from 4 to 8 but people were still coming through the line at close to 10. the average wait in the line to pay their respects was 2 hours. so many people cared so much to give support to his family.
kristin is still my hero...she sobbed and sobbed until i thought she had nothing left and still managed to make everyone feel okay. as bad as today was, tomorrow will be worse and i'm drained already. gotta go rest up so i try to be strong.
a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 00:29
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
i understand what kitana feels about lusting after unattainable geeks. i've had the same crush on the same guy for going on 3 years now. the salt in the wound is that my coworkers keep promising to "help me out" but they never do. don't they know how important it is??? the world must stop and help me get this man!!
a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 18:59
sad, weird, breakthrough week. i have never felt such a wide range of emotion in my life; i almost feel manic-depressive but i know it is strictly situational.
i am really mad at my ex-friend, michael. not just for the things that he has done to me but for taking away my shoulder to lean on. i have a wake and a funeral to go to this weekend and i have no hand to hold or warm body to lean on when i break down. he took that away from me. now i know i'm going to wind up doing the "strong" thing and holding it inside until i'm alone. asshole...
somehow i chose this week to finally accept my body the way it is. i actually purchased pants...PANTS!!! i haven't worn regular pants in years, aside from leggins and sweatpants. i'm wearing shirts that don't cover my ass and i'm wearing pants...AND i'm not having a hissy fit over it. i actually feel pretty confident. i've gotten so many compliments, all for dressing like a normal person : ).
my friend, kristin, has been astonishing me every day. she lost her husband, Specialist Michael Andrade, when he was killed last week in Iraq. i know she is not suppressing her grief but she is so strong she amazes me. i think if the same thing happened to me, i would need strong sedation and other people would have to be doing everything for me. props to my new hero.
a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 18:40