tavie.com

Aw...the NYC Knit-Out in Union Square Park is also tomorrow.

Too many geek activities, not enough time...

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:55 PM | shower me with attention

I just reread my last post, and it's sort of astonishing how someone so illiterate could be sitting here talking about going to a book fair.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:32 PM | shower me with attention

Dare I try to brave the book fair tomorrow, and would anyone be foolish enough to go with me?

The September book fair has been an annual tradition that my family has gone to fairly regularly throughout my life. I used to really look forward to it when I was a kid. Because I was a dork. And still am. So maybe... but it's always such a zoo.

My dad still attends it religiously, every year. It's like a pilgrimage for him.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:28 PM | shower me with attention

I just realized it. I'm afraid to go to bed. I was last night, too. And night before. On computer until beyond the point of insanity... surfed the whole internet and back. Surfed that fucker dry. There's nothing left. Because I'm afraid to go to bed.

What is that? Why am I afraid to go to bed? The hell?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:43 AM | shower me with attention

My kittoons are now eunuchs. Well, a eunuch and whatever the female equivalent is.

My parents took them to the vet yesterday morning. Since I went to bed at 5 am, by the time I woke up they were back and all fixed up. They bounded onto my bed and snuggled down on top of me. Good as new. Good kittoons. Sweet kittoons.

I'm happy because Texas Steph is coming for a visit tomorrow. She's staying for ten days. Gina is going to make me get up in 7 hours and help her clean the house. That's gonna suck for me since I screwed up my sleeping schedule by staying up til 5 am last night.

I've only met Steph once, for about half an hour in a parking lot in Buffalo. So this is better. I like it when the house is full of goils.

Other than that I feel decidedly blue. Heavy and mopey and droopy and sleepy and doc and bashful and grumpy and sneezy and dopey. I'll have to go reread my blog entry about how I have it really good and so shut up already.

I haven't worked on The Project in awhile. I'm in a robotic routine at school. There are no surprises, but lots of dull work. Dull, dull, dull. Dullety dull de dull dull. It makes me tired. And I feel kind of discouraged about The Project lately because I jumped the gun a little on something or other, and didn't get the response I would've liked, and everyone's so busy.

Also, I thought for five minutes that someone might be interested in me, like he was almost kind of asking me out. There were further encouraging signs. And then it turned into nothing, not even hello's. So that's too bad. Maybe he's in a dull, robotic routine that makes him tired, too... or maybe I was imagining it in the first place. That's very likely. What else is new. So: blah.

Also I'm watching that movie where the dumpy Greek girl transforms herself into Cinderella and gets to marry John Corbett. Those transformation movies where everyone's problems are solved when they lose weight and learn how to apply blusher really get me down.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:22 AM | shower me with attention

Friday, September 19, 2003

So, Bellini told Kitana that he and Scott are coming to New York next week to do a taping for some Comedy Central thing on Tuesday night. So I asked Paul if he knew the name of it. And he said he didn't because Scott is a big flake. So then I found this-- and if you ignore the Elvira Kurt stuff and scroll to the bottom, you can see that Buddy Cole will be at this thing.

Then I went here and saw that they're "all full". And I called the number too. All full.

BAH. Oh well I'd rather be in CLASS anyway, than wear "hip, upscale attire".

Sniffle.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:07 PM | shower me with attention

{whine}

I wanna see the bay-bee!

No more posting drunk.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:21 AM | shower me with attention

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Oh man. My sister told the best story about our dad on her journal yesterday. She's such a gifted story-ma-teller.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:25 PM | shower me with attention

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

Hedwig Tribute Album

OH MY GODDDDDD

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:21 PM | shower me with attention

Ha ha, remember this?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:20 AM | shower me with attention

This is for Andrew, who requested I post our Halloween Horror Movie Fest 2003 final list on my blog so he has "easy access" to it:

Signs
Jacob's Ladder
Trilogy of Terror
Ninth Gate
Jason Goes to Hell
Critters
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
The Stuff
CHUD
Wickerman
Dawn of the Dead
Zombies
Candyman

We're missing a vampire movie, so if anyone has any suggestions...

And, yes, I already suggested Blackula; it's been vetoed.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:47 AM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

I miss Stockholm.

When I've graduated school and started my Real Life (dubious distinction, that), I think it's important that I try to live somewhere other than New York for a set amount of time. (Not immediately, so cool yer jets.) I think it's important because I am entirely too dependent on my family and familiar surroundings, and need to experience life somewhere else, in an independent sort of fashion, even if it's another big city. It's also safe, because I know that I could never live anywhere else permanently, no matter how much I like it there. Just a fact. I'm a New Yorker, have always been such, and will always be such.

Stockholm is on the short list, as are Toronto and San Francisco.

I should really try and think of more rural places to live, but I think that a large metropolitan area with many offices is the only place that I'd be able to earn any sort of living, as my only skill is as an office monkey of the fast-typing variety.

Whatever will I do with my life?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 7:02 PM | shower me with attention

Someone's getting one of these. Preferably someone smallish (Kirsten? Kitana?), as yarn is expensive, and the less I need to buy, the better. And it won't be anytime soon; I have projects lined up the wazoo. But, dammit, I'm making this sweater.

This has become a knitting blog. I'm sure I'm sorry.

I've been working sporadically on the second sock for Rynn. (Almost up to the heel flap.) And I've been eyeing the Finnish wool. I've decided to try a pair of gloves for Andrew. He says he can never find gloves that fit his big honkin' hands, so I'm gonna make them to order. They don't look too especially difficult. I'm going to try and adapt the gloves shown here, substituting worsted weight (hello, Finnish wool) to try and accommodate for the bulkier size needed for big honkin' hands. Holding off on his sweater, as he'll take so much yarn to make it that he likely wouldn't see it until next fall, anyway.

The next recipient lined up on my sweater list is this one here.

(Have I abandoned my Bob sweater indefinitely? No, I'm just temporarily moved by the Spirit of Giving. It'll pass, I'm sure.)

In non-knitting news, I got a phone call from a stranger today. She'd been in my pottery class last semester, and found the journal that I'd had to hand in. I'd forgotten all about that thing. She asked if she could keep it. Turns out she just really liked the drawings in it. So that was nice. Sure she can keep it, what do I want with that old thing anyway?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:26 PM | shower me with attention

My Inca Stinka is the cuddliest of bunnies. He's not a real bunny, though. Apparently people keep bunnies as housepets. Just hopping around the apartment. The people at Knitty (HOLY CRAP! The new issue is out!!) keep a housebunny, as does Amy Sedaris, who is selling her cupcakes at a rabbit show in New Rochelle what the!

Sorry, I can't finish my thoughts on this post... the new issue of Knitty is out...

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:31 PM | shower me with attention

My dad's 66 today.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:08 AM | shower me with attention

For my Anthro Theory class, we're up to Max Weber, and have been assigned readings from his Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism, which happened to have been the very first reading I was ever assigned in a college setting, back in Fall of '98. (That was the Symbolic Anthropology class that I audited at Columbia, immensely important in my personal history as it was my first academic experience after dropping out of high school and having prepared myself for a life of Emotional Disturbedness.)

So I dredged up my copy of old P.E.& S.o.C and I'm reading through it and noticing that the first time I'd read it, I'd underlined all sorts of things in pencil and scribbled all manner of notes in the margins. It's mighty amusing to revisit the state of mind that prevailed for me during that period in my life.

I just came across the following underlined:

... more sleep than is necessary for health, six to almost eight hours, is worthy of absolute moral condemnation... Thus inactive contemplation is also valueless, or even directly reprehensible if it is at the expense of one's daily work...

And, scribbled next to it in the margin,

SHUT UP!!!!

Because those days, I was accustomed to sleeping much longer than the "six to eight hours", and spending the waking hours engaged in little more than "inactive contemplation"... much like the sort found in, hmm, this very blog...

Waidaminnit...

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:19 AM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

How to Learn Swedish in 1000 Difficult Lessons (a.k.a. Francis Strand) is the fifth blog to be added to my list that I don't actually know personally ahead of time. It's good readin'.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:43 PM | shower me with attention

By the way: it's 3:47 am and I can feel my circadian rhythms doing the soft-shoe on my sleeping schedule. Every night awake a little later... every day cutting it a little closer... my sleep schedule returning to its natural inclination.

What I'd like to get straight is why I'm afraid to go to bed until I'm at that drooping-eyelids nodding-head stage, and even then, why I have to read or crossword or watch tv or something until the last possible second. I am afraid of what my brain will do when it's not being distracted. I wonder why I'm so afraid of my brain. Min hj?rne ?r min fiende.

Wait, let's not blame the entire northern region of my Central Nervous System for bullying me. It's not my brain: it's my mind. My conscious mind. Min hj�rne �r min kamrat. Let's keep the blame where it belongs: why are my thoughts out to get me?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:52 AM | shower me with attention

I swear a lot. I use a lot of the blue language. In my head, in my vocal communication, in my blog. I speak like a drunken sailor. Or a drunken pirate: Avast, me hearties!

I think all this swearing is a sign of a limited imagination and a limited ability to use language creatively.

I think I should maybe cut down some on the swearing. Maybe it'll... perk up my... imagination... some'm.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:47 AM | shower me with attention

Jen Pardilla's birthday was September 10. I missed it. Then a lot of bad things in the world happened and I forgot further. That was bad. Jen's birthday should be celebrated, even belatedly. In honour of it, I'm going to link to a six-year-old sonnet I wrote for her.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:00 AM | shower me with attention

Monday, September 15, 2003

Are we all helping each other?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:11 PM | shower me with attention

Apparently it's the 150th anniversary of Central Park.

Apparently they decided to celebrate that tonight with a bunch of extraodinarily loud fireworks.

Apparently I need to start reading the newspaper.

Tonight, sometime between 7:30 and 8 pm, I was in my art class struggling with black and white paint (I loathe paint, loathe loathe looooathe paint) when the windows suddenly turned bright yellow with exploding light or some shit, and loud cracks that were too loud to be thunder.

Everyone was amused except for me and the girl sitting next to me, who sat there frozen in terror, staring at one another, unable to speak or move until the racket stopped.

Then we were both mad and bitched about it amongst oursevles for the rest of the evening. Which I guess was better than me bitching to myself about how much I loathe paint.

I suppose that for the past two years, I've been ready for the world to end at any time. Loud noises, especially explosions, scare me. Low-flying planes scare me. Planes in general scare me. I never used to be like this. But nowadays I'm a wreck when it comes to loud, explosive noises. Especially since my school is situated right next to the Armory. It freaked me the fuck out. I'm just glad I'm not the only one who was freaked out by it.

There's a lot of apocalyptic shit going on and I'm not surprised by it anymore. Not since two years ago. No, it matches my nightmares pretty well now when apocalytpic shit happens. I'm not surprised, but I'm terrified of it. And it only comes out when things start motherfucking exploding around me without explanation.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:35 PM | shower me with attention

I got a new band for my old, cracked Winnie-the-Pooh watch. It made me remember the joke that McCulloch told me that night in November of '99, after the webcast. He was chatting with me, being friendly and charming, which was disarming but apparently not unlike McCulloch, and he ruffled my hair, and pointed to my watch and said, "I know a joke about Winnie the Pooh! What did Winnie the Pooh say to his agent?"

"What?"

"Show me the hunny!"

"Oh! Ha ha ha!" I said.

He ruffled my hair and walked away.

I suppose if I'm anything to the Kids in the Hall, I'm a grey-muzzled, overweight pet basset hound that they only see on holidays and special occasions. Sparky or Waffles... or Laetitia. Laetitia the basset hound.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:51 PM | shower me with attention

Go sell your cuteness elsewhere, we're all stocked up here.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:01 AM | shower me with attention

I am thankful for

a loving family;
not one but two homes that I can go to whenever I want/need;
two physically healthy, financially and emotionally supportive parents;
a sister who, for some wackadoo reason, considers me a hero;
a chance to get an education;
a chance to travel, and often;
my friends, mentors, teachers, pets, friendly acquaintances, and other assorted loved ones;
the internet and my access to technology;
and to democracy-such-as-it-is;
this great, big, interesting city;
my health;
my youth;
whatever talents I possess but am afraid to admit to;
all the good things and people that I have.

I'm sorry I complain so much. I'm sorry to me: I apologize to myself for not being able to think of anything better to do so much of the time than count what I don't have.

This is a bad fucking world for most people. I have it goddamn good. And don't I forget it.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:18 AM | shower me with attention

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Sweden rejects the Euro! Yeah!

When I was there a couple of weeks ago, everyone was walking around with "Ja!" tee shirts and posters and buttons and fliers and stickers and billboards, and there was obviously a lot of money being put into the pro-Euro campaign. I walked by more than one "Ja!" rally. And I saw one tiny little anti-Euro sticker on a public phone. So I thought, "Well, hell, with all that advertising, they'll be switching within the month."

So this is great. Fuck you, Big Advertising! Sweden's keeping their kronor!

They can also keep their fucking moon-lamp that I bought at the Ikea (in Sweden) that doesn't accept the lightbulbs that I bought at the Ikea (in Jersey) the other day. Why the hell wouldn't an Ikea lamp accept an Ikea lightbulb? I'm going to throw it out and buy an American one at the American Ikea. Fucking Swedish lightbulbs.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:41 PM | shower me with attention

Two nights of Komedy in a row? It's a Komedy Kavalcade here.

Tonight we went to the UCB Theatre tonight to see Respecto Montalban, who were Wackadoo Funny, they were WACKADOO FREAKIN FUNNY, right?

Then erin was going to go to another show at midnight, so we were gonna collect my sister and go back to Mint Manor, when we noticed how late it was. After midnight. So we figured we might as well just hang around and pick her up. Then Gina thought, Why don't we get in line and see if there are any seats left for the midnight show? And there were.

And it was great because The Upright Citizens Brigade were laying down their commentary track for the DVD of their tv show, which is coming out November 4. So we got to see all four of them being funny as all hell. (You-know-what-adoo funny.) First they laid down some fake commentary track for the 1980's Cory's/teen vampire classic The Lost Boys, which wasn't as fun because we had shitty seats and couldn't see the screen. But for the real DVD commentary they told all the people in the shitty seats to come sit on the floor, and then it got really good.

So that was pretty awesome. We didn't get home until 3 am, which is as it should be. I'm young. I'm a young person. I should be out all night on Saturdays. That's what popular culture sez.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:09 AM | shower me with attention