tavie.com

This article is what launched the career of the Kids in the Hall.

Rereading it-- it's been years-- reminded me of a story Scott told on Tuesday. When Lorne moved them all to New York for six months to "prove themselves" as comics, they used to open for a lot of stand-ups and stuff in the bigger comedy clubs, like Caroline's. And in one of the places, I forget where, they hosted a wet tee-shirt contest. Featuring themselves. In wet tee shirts.

Why the hell was I eight when this was going on?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:13 PM | shower me with attention

Thursday, July 24, 2003

Oh, I am at Mint Manor for the first Thursday night in weeks.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:57 PM | shower me with attention

Apparently I blog so often that when I don't blog in 24 hours, Gina complains that I've quit blogging.

Singin' in the Rain is on. I've started a sweater. I'm planning my Pro-ject. I'm learning math as best I can and keeping up with the reading and assignments for my Lit class as best I can. I'm wading through the soup that is New York City with my hair in a perpetual, frizzy ponytail. Surely the weight of these ponytails will, over time, yank my hairline back so that I appear to be balding. It will be interesting to see if this happens. Otherwise I have no idea how else to keep the masses of hair off my neck and back and waist and butt.

Inca-stinka is a lovable creature. Everyone who crosses our threshhold wishes to take him home. Maya takes a little more effort. She is lovable and cuddly, but you have to prove yourself to her. She's a girl of sandpaper kisses, though. That's hard not to love.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:51 PM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

I really needed that. I really needed some Scott in my life.

The show was so fucking cool. It was two and a half hours of Scott just talking about everything I find interesting (mostly, KITH). And then after, everything else that you would want from Scott-- hugs, gossip, more hugs... He even initiated a group hug at the end, and was sweet to my mom.

He's God is all.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:53 AM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

Scott Thompson is God.

Wassup.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:53 PM | shower me with attention

I need one of these.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:28 PM | shower me with attention

Two exciting developments:

1. I totally did not fail that test. There's no way. I maybe even got a good grade on it. Sheesh.

2. Erin saw her blog on a commercial for a segment in a morning news show about "the blogging trend"! She saw it a couple times and it was definitely her blog. Which is cool. So I have to tape that morning show tomorrow. Apparently we can tape things now. Which is an exciting development-within-an-exciting-development.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:59 PM | shower me with attention

In my head right now, "Brenda's Got a Baby" by Tupac Shakur. It's a song that used to be on a lot when we were in junior high and my sister was really into her rap/hip-hop phase. The sad thing is that the only lyrics I know are the beginning, so it's just this depressing bit running through my head over and over:

Brenda's got a baby
But Brenda's barely got a brain
A damn shame, the girl can hardly spell her name
That's not our problem, that's up to Brenda's family
Well let me tell you how it affects our whole community.

And also the background chorus,
Don't you know she's gotta baby
Don't you know she's gotta...

The thing is I didn't even know this was a Tupac song until yesterday when I was watching that ridiculous VH1 Pop Culture Icons show. Tupac was one of the icons and they showed a clip from the "Brenda" video and I was surprised because that song had been in my head on and off for the past week or so.

It's a very depressing song. I don't ask for it to show up. I'd rather have that song about bubbles stuck in my head. But I can't remember how it goes.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:03 PM | shower me with attention

Tomorrow is a milestone day. I will fail a test for the first time since I started going to college three years ago. Wassup?

I wonder what that will feel like. I haven't failed a test since high school. I used to fail tests in high school because I wouldn't show up for class. Then I stopped going altogether and failed high school. Wassup?

Then, after I fail the test (math), I will go see the magnificent Scott Thompson, who, as usual, will rock my world.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:56 AM | shower me with attention

Sunday, July 20, 2003

I'm blogging in a corset.

So this is what it feels like to be shaped like the Conventionally Attractive Woman. Well, at least roughly shaped like. This is cleavage and a waist. It's interesting. It's fascinating. It's thrilling, is what it is. Cleavage and a waist. They do things for the conception of the self as a woman. Without them (which I normally am, being droopy and lumpy throughout the torso-area) I carry around a general sense of inadequacy, like I haven't done my part to be Feminine. Which I find intellectually outrageous and ridiculous, but emotionally have accepted as One Of Life's Truths.

It was the lemon hai that did it. I was with my sis, Gina and Erin. Gina got her hair cut on that Japanese Street that Kirsten loves, and so we had Japanese food for dinner. I had a lemon hai, because I had one last time and they're delicious-- lemon juice, club soda and Japanese vodka. You wouldn't like it. So I had one and it was just enough to get me Happy.

Happy enough so when we walked through St Mark's I said, "Let's go into Religious Sex so I can try on a corset." Because I decided after I saw Pirates of the Caribbean that when I have enough money, I'm going to get a corset. So I thought I'd try one on in preparation for that day. So we marched in and I picked up the first one I saw, which was black and satin with arm-straps, and happened to be in my exact size. Then I went into the dressing room and tried to put it on, but it's a lot harder than it looks, and somehow I managed to tipsily consent to having the salesgirl (hip, matter-of-fact, tricoloured hair and impressively knowledgable about corsets) help me fasten in front and lace it up in the back.

The crucial part of this is, I let a stranger see my naked back. I'm someone who doesn't let her friends see her upper arms. But I didn't have a problem it all with her lacing me up, and Gina peeking approvingly over her shoulder.

Everyone was very encouraging-- the salesgirl, the goils, my lemon hai. And then I heard Erin say, "How much is it? It is? I'm buying it for her."

I said, no you're not, and she said, yes I am, I didn't get you a birthday present. And I said, yes you did. And she said, no I didn't. And so she bought it for me.

She bought me cleavage and a waist. She bought me Temporary Conventional Beauty.

Which is really an amazing gift, if you think about it.

Wow, it's hard to keep my back straight for so long.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:36 PM | shower me with attention