sad, weird, breakthrough week. i have never felt such a wide range of emotion in my life; i almost feel manic-depressive but i know it is strictly situational.

i am really mad at my ex-friend, michael. not just for the things that he has done to me but for taking away my shoulder to lean on. i have a wake and a funeral to go to this weekend and i have no hand to hold or warm body to lean on when i break down. he took that away from me. now i know i'm going to wind up doing the "strong" thing and holding it inside until i'm alone. asshole...

somehow i chose this week to finally accept my body the way it is. i actually purchased pants...PANTS!!! i haven't worn regular pants in years, aside from leggins and sweatpants. i'm wearing shirts that don't cover my ass and i'm wearing pants...AND i'm not having a hissy fit over it. i actually feel pretty confident. i've gotten so many compliments, all for dressing like a normal person : ).

my friend, kristin, has been astonishing me every day. she lost her husband, Specialist Michael Andrade, when he was killed last week in Iraq. i know she is not suppressing her grief but she is so strong she amazes me. i think if the same thing happened to me, i would need strong sedation and other people would have to be doing everything for me. props to my new hero.

a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 18:40