everything i've done in the past few days feels like a complete and total fuck up. i get looks for things i say and things i do or don't do. i'd like to think i'm being paranoid but of course it doesn't feel like it. i have spent a few hours drunk this weekend (not alone, of course) which indubitable makes it worse but even during the remainder of the time i can't seem to do anything right. no one will tell me to my face i'm a fuck-up but sometimes i swear i see it in their faces. sometimes i have to tell myself to shut up and let everyone else do their thing because i simply can't get anything right. i'm sure the other girls would tell me otherwise and i've tried to believe i'm serving a purpose by being here but i just can't feel it.

a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 21:19