tavie.com

I'm blogging in a corset.

So this is what it feels like to be shaped like the Conventionally Attractive Woman. Well, at least roughly shaped like. This is cleavage and a waist. It's interesting. It's fascinating. It's thrilling, is what it is. Cleavage and a waist. They do things for the conception of the self as a woman. Without them (which I normally am, being droopy and lumpy throughout the torso-area) I carry around a general sense of inadequacy, like I haven't done my part to be Feminine. Which I find intellectually outrageous and ridiculous, but emotionally have accepted as One Of Life's Truths.

It was the lemon hai that did it. I was with my sis, Gina and Erin. Gina got her hair cut on that Japanese Street that Kirsten loves, and so we had Japanese food for dinner. I had a lemon hai, because I had one last time and they're delicious-- lemon juice, club soda and Japanese vodka. You wouldn't like it. So I had one and it was just enough to get me Happy.

Happy enough so when we walked through St Mark's I said, "Let's go into Religious Sex so I can try on a corset." Because I decided after I saw Pirates of the Caribbean that when I have enough money, I'm going to get a corset. So I thought I'd try one on in preparation for that day. So we marched in and I picked up the first one I saw, which was black and satin with arm-straps, and happened to be in my exact size. Then I went into the dressing room and tried to put it on, but it's a lot harder than it looks, and somehow I managed to tipsily consent to having the salesgirl (hip, matter-of-fact, tricoloured hair and impressively knowledgable about corsets) help me fasten in front and lace it up in the back.

The crucial part of this is, I let a stranger see my naked back. I'm someone who doesn't let her friends see her upper arms. But I didn't have a problem it all with her lacing me up, and Gina peeking approvingly over her shoulder.

Everyone was very encouraging-- the salesgirl, the goils, my lemon hai. And then I heard Erin say, "How much is it? It is? I'm buying it for her."

I said, no you're not, and she said, yes I am, I didn't get you a birthday present. And I said, yes you did. And she said, no I didn't. And so she bought it for me.

She bought me cleavage and a waist. She bought me Temporary Conventional Beauty.

Which is really an amazing gift, if you think about it.

Wow, it's hard to keep my back straight for so long.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:36 PM | shower me with attention