tavie.com

Here's a contradiction to chew on (on the side without the cavity of course, contradictions are like tinfoil to cavities):

1. I tend to dislike people with high opinions of themselves. Or, if not dislike the person, immediately feel a twinge of disrespect. At any rate, I tend to have a knee-jerk reaction to high self-worth, or even honestly positive self-assessment.

2. I tend to idolize divas, who, by nature, have high opinions of themselves.

What's going on? The first trait demonstrates some sort of mental backwardsness, a kind of self-esteem-phobia. Is it a form of jealousy? A fear of crossing the line towards nauseating egomania?

The second trait demonstrates juvenile idol-worship, a tendency to stereotype and a rather disturbing predilection for feather boas.

Furthermore:

3. I find self-deprecation funny.

What the?

This one thing I know to be true: too much self analysis (in my case, any) is poisonous. I'd love to be free of my self for a bit. I think that would be so refreshing, to be someone else. Is this what actors get off on? Or is acting something else altogether? I don't really know what acting is. Maybe this is what multiple personality disorders get off on.

At any rate, it's okay: I still hate myself, so I still love myself.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:06 AM | shower me with attention