tavie.com

I'm in a weird place.

Firstly: I agreed weeks ago that I'd like to go with erin to see TMBG tonight. Then I forgot completely about it and arranged to come to Mint Manor for the weekend while Gina's in Kansas City all week. (She left me enough cab fare to get back and forth from the PATH twice.) So when erin called last night to remind me, I realized that I no longer wanted to go back into the city. I'd had the conception of me being here for four days in my pajamas, and the idea of going back into the cold-- not to mention scraping up the money to do so, at the end of my pay cycle, although erin offered to pay for the cab but I don't feel right about it-- to see a show, even TMBG, is just, blah. I don't want to now. So I'm a big heel. erin is very understanding but that's not excuse for me to be like this.

Secondly: Why am I watching only depressing movies on tv? Last night I actually stayed up until 4:30 am watching a movie I'd vowed never to watch: Shallow Hal. That one had three strikes against it: 1. I hate the Farrelly brothers. Loathe them. 2. I hate fat suits. Loathe them. 3. Not too fond of Gwyneth Paltrow or Jason Alexander, either. But I watched it anyway, because sometimes you want to watch a terrible movie so you can be appalled by it. The appalling part was, although it was extremely objectionable, it wasn't as objectionable as I'd imagined it to be. It was still horrible, but it wasn't, like, Kingpins or Something About Mary-horrible. I wanted to get madder at all the things about it that bugged me, but I didn't. Maybe I was too sleepy, or maybe I secretly do believe that the only way anyone would fall in love with a fat girl is under hypnosis. (One thing remains absolutely appalling, however: No fat girl would consistently dress like that. Maybe on occasion, maybe they'd even wear a bikini, but there is no woman that large in the known universe that has that many tight, sleeveless shirts in her closet.)

And now I'm watching Ghost World, which is a good movie but very depressing. (Where the fuck am I going with my life, blah blah blah. BLAH BLAH BLAH.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:17 PM | shower me with attention