tavie.com

Gina watches Sex and the City reruns with me now. She finally understands the point: to shriek in outrage over the costumes.

WHERE ARE MY CDS????

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:08 PM | shower me with attention

Where are my CDs? Where are my CDs? They ain't here, I thought they wuz. They ain't here, they ain't there. Ain't they anywhere?

Where are my CDs?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:03 PM | shower me with attention

I love this site.

Thank you, Jen-Shmen.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:46 PM | shower me with attention

Erica! Lookit this referral!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:39 PM | shower me with attention

Thursday, October 24, 2002

I'm home at last. Hopped up pleasantly on antihistamines. Feeling good despite miserable cold. Missed it here.

Remind self to study for English midterm and write critique for Native American Ethnologies class. But not now. Now, comfy bed. Comfy sleep. Heterosexual lifemate is watching soap operas in the other room. Missed her.

Jiggety jog.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:38 PM | shower me with attention

Tavie's Improvised Sore Throat Tonic

Ingredients:
1 bag Lipton's® "Brisk" tea
3 Fisherman's Friend® Sugar-Free Lemon Lozenges
1 travel mug with closeable lid (Second Cup, Toronto)
Boiling water

Put tea bag in mug. Add boiling water. Steep three minutes. Remove tea bag. Add lozenges. Close lid. Shake. Allow to cool slightly to comfortable drinking temperature. Sip.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:50 PM | shower me with attention

Cold, go away.

Dad, make dental appointment.

Physical ailments are so not my bag, man.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:22 PM | shower me with attention

The good news that I have is that one of the Big Three Issues that I've been angsty about of late (Death, Divorce and Marriage) is getting better. Actually, two of the three (see here for the happy Marriage update); now the happy Divorce update.

The background, in brief: I've a terribly small family. It consists of my mother, father, sister, aunt and uncle-by-marriage. He's been our only uncle ever since we were four years old. The day I got back from my trip to Sweden this summer, I learned that aunt and uncle were to be divorced. (I hope I'm not sharing too much, here. I think uncle may read this page occasionally. I hope he doesn't mind my blogging these things.) This was a devastating shock, and since then has been a source of ongoing depression. Adding to the depression was the fact that I hadn't seen or heard from my uncle since I got back from my trip, and no one was mentioning him-- he was just suddenly Not Present at family gatherings. I took this to mean that I no longer have an uncle. I have found this situation depressing beyond all belief, as you can imagine. (Why would he want to hang out with us now that he has no reason to? We're very annoying people.)

Well. Uncle is also Computer Geek, and recently I've been trying to get my stupid, retarded, no-good Imation Superdisk drive to work with my iBook, at least ONCE so that I can transfer everything I have on Superdisk to CDs. I have been having a lot of trouble accomplishing this, and have emailed uncle once or twice to ask his advice. There has been no reply, and I finally asked aunt about this the other day. She said email had been down and he'd just gotten it working again. Well, what do I get the other day but a message on my voicemail, and the first thing it says is, "Hi, Tave, this is your Uncle Donny--"

My heart almost stopped from joy.

(We've never called him "Uncle", just "Don", but occasionally he refers to himself as "Uncle Donny" in the Jokey Tone of Voice to everyone's great mirth.)

So, that's the happy Divorce News: I still have an uncle.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:11 AM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

I made a decision last night:Shelley Long. I mean, in the age-old debate, you know: Shelley Long or Kirstie Alley?

Shelley Long. Totally Shelley Long.

It's so good to be certain about something.

So how's about you? Shelley Long or Kirstie Alley? And, no, you can't pick Beethoven.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:37 PM | shower me with attention

Bit under the weather today. Found out my sociolinguistics midterm is in two weeks. Perhaps should crack the book open at some point. My throat hurts. Nothing else to report. Go read a book or something.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:25 PM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

I had a very intense, detailed dream last night about Magic Journeys, the after-Imagination-3D-show of my childhood (and the greatest of the Post-Figment Attractions, IMO.) In the dream it was just as I remembered it-- spooky, haunting, a little scary, surreal, sort of mystical-feeling. I think the dream was provoked by the movie my mother found and watched with me last night, a film version of the Astrid Lingdren book The Brothers Lionheart (which, by the by, I found in its illegal entirety online. Mom printed it out for me at work.) Something about the movie-- the little boys with the 70's haircuts? the surreal quality? the spooky music?-- must have put me in a Magic Journeys mind.

I wish I could find some stills from the show online. Poopety.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:42 PM | shower me with attention

Poop. I forgot, Dave and Crissy were married Aug 1, not Aug 2.

Oh, well. Close enough.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:26 PM | shower me with attention

Why does my computer think it's December 1969?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:04 PM | shower me with attention

The question of the evening is: how undateable am I? (According to the Spark almost completely.)

It's not because two of my childhood friends are now married. It's not because everyone else I know has a boyfriend or a girlfriend. It's not entirely because of these two facts. It's mainly because I've never been on a-- I mean I've been on one-- and I didn't know-- and I don't-- and I only have ever had platonic relationships-- and it's fall and I'm lonely.

There are two giant obstacles to my ever being in a-- forget a relationship-- forget even a date-- how about a "mutually flirtatious situation". The two giant obstacles, which may or not be tautologically related, are as follows:

One: I am exceedingly unattractive. (Or, for the Self Esteem Booster Brigade, think I am, which is largely the same thing, a conclusion I have reached after monitoring the situations of several undeniably attractive friends of mine.)

Two: I am exceedingly shy.

There could be a third reason, which is that I have a completely repellent personality completely unrelated to my physical appearance. After all, Rocky Dennis, the hero of Mask, got a girlfriend. I don't even think I could hook a blind guy.

I do, of course, have standards. There are minimum requirements a person must meet to be, for lack of a better word, a "prospect":

They must be, in some way, intelligent.
I must find them in some way attractive, and at least a tiny fraction of that attraction should be physical.
I can't be related to them or be able to consider them solely in a fraternal/sororital light.

There are, furthermore, preferences that I hold, that are in no way absolutely required by any Prospect for a Flirtatious Situation:

I'd prefer it to be of the male persuasion.
I'd prefer them to speak English.
I'd prefer them to be taller than me.
I'd prefer them to be somewhere within my age range (legal for the lower, within 15 years for the higher, 20 if they're a celebrity and 40 if they're Michael Palin.)
I'd prefer them to not be completely disgusted with my interests.
I'd prefer them to be literate, and even fond of reading.
I'd prefer them not to be currently romantically attached.

Perhaps my Absolute Standards are too narrow. Perhaps I should consider relatives, creeps and the mentally retarded. Who am I to judge anyone in this world who might possibly find me attractive? Does such a person even exist? Could such a person exist, as long as aforementioned obstacles remain in place? How does one become physically attractive and not shy?

I just want to be loved, is that so wrong?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:11 PM | shower me with attention

Holy flashback, Batman. I'm organizing this file drawer of old orders from various bookstores and such, and I came across one from Fall 1998 from a bookstore that serves a University I was attending at the time, for a book I purchased for the class I was taking.

It's like little pieces of my past popping out at me everywhere I turn. Not to mention orders from colleges that my friends attend, or bookstores I've been to in the past (Book Soup!).

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:43 PM | shower me with attention

I am way too productive today. They ran out of things for me to do. I'm reduced to neatening up file cabinets once again.

It feels so naughty to post this from work. Me likey.

(You hear that, work spies? Overly productive. Can't fault me with that!)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:18 PM | shower me with attention

Blogging from work, blogging from work.
This can't be a good idea...

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:26 PM | shower me with attention

Monday, October 21, 2002

Checked my email at work today, but felt guilty the whole time.

The crack in my screen is now obscuring most of the upper right-hand portion of the screen, and there is a nasty black mess in the middle of the top of the screen, as well. So, basically, to see anything I have to drag the window down towards the bottom and to the left. Every time I close the laptop up it opens up with more nastiness on the screen. I can't keep it open all the time because the cat will almost certainly cozy up to it and decide to sleep on it if I leave it open.

It will only take me a million years to pay off my credit minimums and start saving for a replacement LCD screen.

Speaking of which, I found a place that says they'll replace it for $155 less than Apple will. It's not MUCH of a savings, but I'm so poor that every little bit helps. My question is, do I trust them? (It's moot now, but supposed... supposably some day I will be able to afford to replace this thing.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:43 PM | shower me with attention

Sunday, October 20, 2002

Read John Bull's Other Island for class tomorrow or watch Alan Alda play with virtual doggies?

The choice is clear.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:50 PM | shower me with attention

Happy birthday, Father Mulcahy.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:19 PM | shower me with attention

Every morning a new headache.

The tender caress of my black goddess awaits. Soothe my brow with your pungent steam, lovely one.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:55 PM | shower me with attention

Duh. Duh. My mom told me today that A Little Night Music is based on an Ingmar Bergman movie. No, I didn't know that. It's a Swedish story. Now the whole "The Sun Won't Set" song makes perfect sense.

The sun won't set
it's fruitless to hope or to fret
it's dark as it's going to get
the hands of the clock turn
but don't sing a nocturne just yet...

I miss Sweden.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:34 AM | shower me with attention

I finally saw Erica's new apartment today. Went over to watch her wedding video. It was beautiful. Me and Yves cried a little. They were married at sunset on Maui, on, get this-- August 2nd, same day Dave and Crissy were married. Funny, huh? The best part is that Aggie and Rich were considering getting married in Vegas like D & C did. It would have been funny if they'd ended up in the same place.

They chose a good one, though. Very romantic.

Someone date me.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:48 AM | shower me with attention