tavie.com

My current idea of heaven: Accubroadway.com (Sondheim channel) and iSketch (I am supreme leader of the Expert room.)

Thank you.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:45 AM | shower me with attention

My sweet boy oughtn't write posts that make me cry. I just, I only wish he knew what he was worth. Obviously I'm in love with him, and obviously it can't help.

You... people... you. Stop making me fall in love with you.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:35 AM | shower me with attention

I had a fight with my sister. And I feel sorry that I threw the CD she made me into the gutter somewhere on Bleecker street. She made me mad. But I feel sorry about it.

I got Gina cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery, and, blah blah blah, Kirsten and I had a fight, blah blah blah. I hope she enjoyed her Key Lime Pie.

Gina made me watch Deep Impact. To be fair, she kept saying that I didn't have to watch it if it would upset me, but I kept saying it would be fine. It is fine, even though everything that happened in the movie is going to happen in real life in seventeen years. I have until that time to find out the proper way to shoot someone in the head so that they die instantly, to spare myself and my loved ones the horror of living through a Deep Impact-like situation. The only thing that really upset me was when New York got destroyed and then Morgan Freeman made a speech at the end about unforgotten heroes and rebuilding cities. Then I watched M*A*S*H and I felt fine. I definitely have a Hawkeye crush, but now I am certain that I have a B.J. Hunnicutt crush as well. I just do. Leave me alone. He's wonderful.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:28 AM | shower me with attention

Friday, August 02, 2002

Dude. Dude. There's this guy, and he's practically Gina's neighbour, he lives so close, and he has old Cheater demos and stuff. She got a Cheater record of him. Cheater-- you know, Stephen Trask's old band-- and I just listened to the record, and, dude. Dude. I love this record. The one side, the "dry" side, has a song called "The Hours & the Times" that's almost power pop-y, and it has a really good hook and I could totally hear it being played on the radio (why'd they break up? Fucking Hedwig!) and the other side, the "wet" side, Stephen's vocals are hilariously bad, and it's really punk-y and the lyrics are just not to be believed. Dude. Dude.

Dude.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:40 PM | shower me with attention

Thursday, August 01, 2002

It's fifteen minutes to the birthday of my Heterosexual Lifemate, Gina. I am not currently at Mint Manor but I will be tomorrow. Gina is one of the most important people in my life; I feel very fortunate to know her. The best way to celebrate her birthday is to make lots of typos, laugh at people who fall down and go boom, play with Sims if you got 'em, eat a Pop Tart (if you so indulge), and be as loving and supportive as you know how to be.

I have got to get out of this apartment. I wasted another New York City day sleeping until an ungodly hour.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:50 PM | shower me with attention

Took down some blogs that don't update anymore.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:45 PM | shower me with attention

I have two messages on my phone that I'm afraid to check. It's a Lady or Tiger sort of thing. I really should check them. I'm afeared.

Amendment:
I just listened. It was nothing. Whew.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:32 PM | shower me with attention

Happy Michael Penn day. He's delicious.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:42 AM | shower me with attention

That black-and-white M*A*S*H episode that makes me cry was on again tonight. I watched it with Lily. It's when Radar is talking about the pregnant girl. Radar really gets me. His speech patterns trigger some sort of emotional response. Makes me cry, that Radar O'Reilly.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:37 AM | shower me with attention

Okay, I caved. I'm a cave man. I'm a lonely old cave man just begging for attention.

(Cave men didn't cave in.

Did some cave men cave in?

Well, yes--

Point to Jimmy.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:51 AM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, July 31, 2002

So it's been suggested that I add a comment thing to this blog. Do you think that looks like I'm begging for attention? Because I sort of am. And I find that sad. I was just waiting for one person to suggest it.

That's sad.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:06 PM | shower me with attention

Strange site, but too intriguingly sacrilegous not to paw through. I especially enjoyed Which Religion is Right For Your Complexion? (Answer: Episcopalian. Who knew?)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:36 PM | shower me with attention

They're fucking with the pipes in our building today. From 9 to 5, supposably, we are to have no water. Why, then, is the water in the bathroom sink running at full force in such a way that I am unable to shut it off? Were we not just in the midst of a terrible drought? This seems like a grievous waste of water to me.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:15 PM | shower me with attention

On my way home today, walking down the hallway to my apartment, I encountered Kiki. Kiki is a new neighbour, a tiny, rambunctious terrier pup-- I don't know what kind, but one of those fluffy tan-and-black ones-- yipping and yapping and skipping and trying to jump on me. She belongs to our neighbour down the hall, the woman we have, since moving here, referred to as The Cat Lady. She only had two cats and the cats have both passed, and was named thus because we often saw her with them out in the hallway. I am so glad she has decided to defy the rules of the building (and the Island) by getting this puppy. Kiki is the cutest creature I have ever seen. I am in love with her. I hope to encounter her often. I may find myself just sitting in the hallway outside the Cat Lady's apartment, hoping the Kiki will come out and play.

I have, since my encounter, been torturing myself at this site. I want every kind of dog on the list, even the scary ones.

The interview went well, although I was very honest about my lack of administrative experience and my trepidations about this job. The guy seemed a little desperate, which I suppose means he'll be willing to teach me exactly how to do those impossible-sounding tasks that the job will entail, if they decide to hire me. I am equally torn between wanting to broach this terrifying frontier (and collect the hefty hourly reward) and being overwhelmed by the thought of all that... administration. So I guess I'll be equally fine if they call me back, or if they don't. Gulp.

God, do I want a dog.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:52 PM | shower me with attention

I can't wait for today to be over.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:09 AM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, July 30, 2002

I have anxiety.

I certainly do not have "good communications skills".

What exactly gave them the idea I would be good for this job...?

I have anxiety.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:50 PM | shower me with attention

The pressure to find a job mounts. The credit card bills and personal debts mount. My sense of worthlessness and failure as a productive member of society mounts. My guilt at slackerdom mounts. And today my agency called me back.

It's temp-to-perm. I replaced my afternoon anthro class with an evening one and I'll drop the elective that starts at 4 if I end up taking the job. Interview's tomorrow afternoon. It's at St. Vincent's, a hospital in the Village that I have a fair amount of experience with. Not my number-one choice for place of employment, but at least I'd be on the right side of the automatic-lock door this time. It pays two dollars more an hour than I made at my last job. The rub is, from what I could make out of the job description-- the guy from my agency had a very thick accent, very hard to undestand-- it sounds like something I'd sort of not like very much at all. It sounds like it involves talking to people, doctors and the like. So, that's the part that worries me. The talking to people. I get the feeling it's sort of a running-back-and-forth sort of job, exactly the sort of thing I wouldn't like. Communicating with people. Asking and answering questions. Exactly the opposite of my forte. Do you see my dilemma? I need the money, I need the job, but I'm terrible with people, terrible, and, dammit, full-time work and full-time school-- will I ever graduate?

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch. So, wish me... luck? I guess?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:20 PM | shower me with attention

Before I go back to the air conditioning, I'm going to recommend Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins, which contains what is definitely one of my favourite passages in all of literature, about a meeting between Jesus and Tarzan.

'Night.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:14 AM | shower me with attention

I don't know how Gina is sleeping in this heat. My guess is that she isn't. As for me, I left the pleasant chill of my room upstairs because channel five was out and I needed my 1:30 am M*A*S*H fix. Father Mulcahey reminds me of Piglet. I've always liked Piglet. Hint of a maternal nature in me? Or just a sense of affinity with the porcine?

Down here in Mint Manor's sweltering rec room, Trapper John wins a hand of poker and I polish off half a carton of strawberries and wonder where my life is heading. Let's get that out of our systems before we return to the cool comfort of the air mattress. Let us, also, stop peppering our prose with phrases like "cool comfort". I am instating a ban on adjectives. I expect this to last for two more sentences. I have no willpower at all. I'm such a artless bumbler.

Shine on, shine on harvest moon
for me and my gal.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:59 AM | shower me with attention

Monday, July 29, 2002

All the perfect drugs
and superheroes
wouldn't be enough to bring me up to zero.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:53 PM | shower me with attention

Now playing on WFUV:

Coming up after the news, we'll spotlight the brand new-- it's not out yet-- Aimee Mann's new album, Lost in Space.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:32 PM | shower me with attention

Now Playing in Tavie's Head (WTVHD FM, New York):

Shine on, shine on harvest moon
Up in the sky,
I ain't had no lovin'
Since January, February, June or July
Snow time ain't no time to stay
Outdoors and spoon,
So shine on, shine on harvest moon,
For me and my gal.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:39 PM | shower me with attention

Sunday, July 28, 2002

I am obsessed with the idea that my teeth are a nauseating beige colour.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:38 PM | shower me with attention

That was a good weekend. I think my favourite part was the late-afternoon drinks at the Duplex, with the piano-guy calling me a bitch and demanding to know why I didn't have to work for a living. ("I do," I replied sadly. "She's just between things right now," Gina added. He gave me a pitying look and returned to his lounge-lizarding.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:12 PM | shower me with attention

Mount Rushmore is a nice sculpture but there are people in that country who could look at the mountain the way it used to be and see the great faces in it without having to carve it up. They would undoubtedly be different faces.

Please let this man write a book.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:58 AM | shower me with attention

There are go il s in there watching-- no, make that fast-forwarding through-- Super 8 1/2 looking for the Buddy Cole monologue.

Sometimes my life is pretty fun.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:22 AM | shower me with attention

No one cares anymore, but I'm posting it anyway. Try and stop me, copper.

I could've cropped it, but that would've taken a slight effort on my part.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:17 AM | shower me with attention