tavie.com

Off to Syracuse and then on to London, Ontario. Be back Sunday night, all freakafied.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:12 AM | shower me with attention

I'm so upset. It's over.

Our Queer as Folk marathon is over. We watched the whole first season. I've seen the last few episodes of the second season so I know Justin is all right and he and Brian are together now, but, dammit, he took a bat to the head. And Michael let Dr. David get on that plane. How will I see the rest of the second season? Showtime won't rerun it in the order I need it.

Watching Queer as Folk night after night with Gina was the best spring break ever. Falling in love with Emmett and Michael and Ted and Justin and, yes, even Brian, even Blake, even the lesbians. And please don't lecture me about how the British series is so much better because I just don't care. Although it may be fair to rub it in about my whole former Hal Sparks aversion. (And he is still not funny, even if he IS a puppyface.)

Anyway. Thank god I have Kids in the Hall to look forward to tomorrow, help me through this little crisis.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:55 AM | shower me with attention

Thursday, March 28, 2002

Holy Moses, you're right. I must see this.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:00 PM | shower me with attention

Tonight: Cheryl and Mike; tomorrow night: Dave, Mark, Kevin, Scott and Bruce.

Sweet as a chocolate Venus rising on a sea of marshmallow foam, that is.

When everybody screams and yells
who calms them down, who rings their bells
when everybody screams and yells?
The enchanted one, that's me!

When everybody screams and yells
there's nothing to do, there's nothing to see
Who dreams up a place they'd like to be?
The enchanted one, that's me!

It takes personality, a lot of personality
to make them see it my way
It takes personality, more personality
to turn twelve boring hours into a fascinating day!
I can do it, that's a fact, I can do it, don't you see
and I'll do it all for free!

Do you know? Can you guess who I simply have to be?
Stop screaming and yelling and I'll tell you already
Stop screaming and yelling and screaming and yelling and screaming and yelling...
THE ENCHANTED ONE, THAT'S ME!

(Thank you, Maurice Sendak and Carole King.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:55 PM | shower me with attention

What was I thinking?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:54 AM | shower me with attention

Last call for Jesus-y/sacreligous songs. To pad out my meagre collection, I've been downloading random songs with the word "Jesus" in the title, and if they're not horrible to listen to they stay.

Jesus is more than just all right with me, baby...

Blah. Blah! I'm Count Blah! Blaaaaah!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:47 AM | shower me with attention

As the Queer as Folk marathon continued tonight, Gina was at one point heard to remark that she'd like to get the CD of the soundtrack for this show. I thought, "Oh, I'd hate that, all that dance music." A few minutes later I was in the kitchen getting some water and I heard some opening chords that reminded me of "Mass Romantic" and I started singing it. (Well, I don't really hear the words to that song so I was singing, "Mass romantic fool doobie doobie, do-be-doobie do-do-do-do-do...somewhere on the RADIO, RADIO") And (of course) seconds later I heard Neko Case echoing me and I screamed, "SHIT!" They were playing New Pornographers during the scene where Justin and Daphne are talking at the school swimming pool.

That was fun, damn doodly!

Happy Linn day, one and all! Bork bork bork!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:36 AM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, March 27, 2002

This is me right now:

"Frank Van Keekan?! Frank Van Keekan?!"

Just over and over. I'm such a lamer.

(Frank Van Keekan?!)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:47 PM | shower me with attention

I lost my breath and made you laugh
moving picture spectacular
Hours away and hours spent
speaking our own vernacular

My two passions
cheesecake and Bailey's
we're coasting on charm...

This is the best song in the entire world and it's making me almost cry but I am determined to learn the lyrics.

As we hit the road and traveled together/we discovered our love for each other...

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:09 PM | shower me with attention

Gina has made fun of me because my favourite Beatles song is "Got to Get You Into My Life". (This may, I admit, be due to my not being familiar enough with the Beatles catalogue to pick another, but, goddammit, I love that song.) She made me burn her a special version of "In Praise of Folie" with all the same tracks except that one replaced with Aerosmith, "Dude Looks Like a Lady". Which I thought was fun but a bit obvious, so I bumped it for the Beatles one. So now there's a special European version of the CD with only one track different, but real fans buy it anyway.

I was singing "Heterosexual Man" and pouring myself some Diet Coke today when I glanced out the window and saw Gina's racist landlady in the backyard. I'm belting, "I'm a HETERO! SEXUAL! HET-ER-O SEX-U-AL MA-A-A-AN!!!" and I thought, "Wow, if she heard me singing this song there'd be no doubt in her mind about me and Gina." Because, you know, everyone must think we're lesbians. I didn't stop singing, but it occurred to me then what Gina and I are. You know how in that stupid movie that I tried to watch until it sucked too much, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Jay introduces Bob as "my heterosexual life partner"? That's what Gina and I seem to be.

The people at Blockbuster must be certain because every night I pop in there and rent a new Queer as Folk video.

This is fun. Of course it would be more fun if Gina actually put out...

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:43 PM | shower me with attention

Slightly more:

I've been very flaky lately with the emails and the keeping up my correspondences and getting back to people and making good on promises and generally being a good friend to people. I'm extraordinarily lucky to have understanding friends, and it's not that I feel particularly burned out, but I'm really so much enjoying being immersed in my lazy spring break that I've been really crummy.

Everyone's probably all mad at me and I am sorry. I don't mean to be a terrible flake, but sometimes I am. I still love you.

(A true diva would never apologize? No, there's a fine line between a classy dame and a rotten cunt, and a diva toes that line in fabulous, strappy heels.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:05 AM | shower me with attention

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

Yup, okay.

I'm watching Gypsy. I really love this movie, I really do, but there's a line that really frosts me. Yes, it sure does frost me. Natalie Wood says, "They're young girls, Mama! With blonde hair they could be pretty young girls!"

Shoo'. If blonde hair was all it took to be pretty, chile... nope, I'd still never do it.

Gina and I watched three more episodes of Queer As Folk today and it sho' was fine. But, please, take heed: do not call me a fag hag. I abhor that term. I will tell you what a fag hag is: it is someone who likes someone solely based on their sexual orientation. That's prejudice, and I don't like it. Leave me out of it. You know who you are.

Oh, my new favourite phrase is "big nelly bottom". I can't stop saying it. That and "poop". No, the two terms aren't in any way related. You leave me out of that, too, thank you very much.

I want to be an Emmett Honeycut, but I know in my haht of hahts that I'm a Ted Schmidt.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:54 AM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, March 26, 2002

I found a song on Audiogalaxy called "Hard On for Jesus". I didn't have the patience for the slow download, so I've yet to hear it, and I haven't the faintest idea who the Dandy Warhols are, but even if the song is wretched, it must go on my Sacrelicious Mix, I think.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:32 PM | shower me with attention

6. I watched the first five minutes of Moulin Rouge before the Oscars and it made me want to die.

Gina and I had an identical experience. We ordered it on Pay-Per-View, began throwing up, and spent the rest of the time before the Oscars scrubbing vomit out of the rug and walls.

Is you home yet? I pine so. I made you a Crazy Raw Goose necklace.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:26 PM | shower me with attention

I predict that today will be the most productive of my spring break. Gina woke me early and dropped me off at the PATH station. I went home and got some things and then did a favour for my very pregnant friend Nina. On the way back to the PATH I stopped at the mall at 33rd street and went into the Kaybee toystore where I found, I kid you not, a Linn doll. Seriously. It's called a "Jordache girl" doll, but it's Linn. With a few minor modifications there will be no doubt. I wish you could see; it's utterly perfect. Gigantic head, tiny body, her haircut and hair colour, blue eyes, general face shape. I'm just putting the finishing touches on her now, and we have our Tour Mascot for this trip!

Now I'm making CD labels. I am one productive beeyotch.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:20 PM | shower me with attention

Monday, March 25, 2002

"Gina's Hedwig Mix", "Aimee Rarities" and "In Praise of Folie" are all wild successes. Next up: "Mmm... Sacrelicious!" and "Goil Power: The Soundtrack".

I love this seedy-boinin' stuff!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 7:00 PM | shower me with attention

There is nothing new under the sun.

I resent the fact that due to a certain annual television "event", I didn't get in any Queer as Folk episodes in tonight.

Nothing but complaints from me. Poop.

Oh! Please, please, someone get me this. Please?

I'm so obsessed with Jesus lately.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:09 AM | shower me with attention

Sunday, March 24, 2002

In other words, should I tell her I am sorry?

No, no, and no. Why? Because you've done nothing wrong. Not even inadvertantly.

And I'm not being cold. Them's just the facts. This is just how life works. You should apologize for Haoudy Daoudy being attracted to you and not to someone else? Come, now, woman. Speak sense.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:38 PM | shower me with attention

I love this site. Wow. I know I said I was going to bed, but Boing Boing's pull is too strong.

The cover to my Sacrelicious Mix? Or this? Oh Jesus. I'll never decide.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:48 AM | shower me with attention

Although I need to be thinking about what poet I'm going to choose for my final paper (suggestions always appreciated; this one is ten pages and has to be based on a single volume of poetry, published in the author's lifetime--i.e. not an edited compilation-- and doesn't has to be a poet on the syllabus, although it has to be someone who published before WWII--wow, this was a long parenthetical), this week I am mostly going to knit, watch digital cable, wash Gina's dishes, and burn CDs. Oh, yes. I am going to burn CDs. (Thanks for the suggestions, by the by, and what a clever way of getting me to listen to Goose Music!)

By the way, anyone making me a mixtape, you know how I'm notorious for not actually listening to them for years and years? I've discovered the trick for getting me to listen right away. (Rather, Ade has.) The secret: don't provide a track listing. Apparently, I love surprises. Evidently, if I don't know what will be on it, I won't be able to resist.

Anyway. So, it's going to be a lovely, lazy spring break.

I'm also eating healthier and trying hard not to lie awake hating myself instead of sleeping. So this should be a healthy week, capped by a little mind-blowing comedy by my heroes. There's the news.

Scattered remains:

Gina let me go into a Borders today and buy a new book by Margaret Atwood even though I'm in the middle of three other books. She's bad.

We have been doing almost nothing for the past few days but watching DVDs of the first season of Queer as Folk. I am... oh god. This is like confession. I already confessed to my mother superior over the phone tonight, but I really need to come clean publicly on this:

I...

Idon'thateHalSparksanymore.

In... in fact... geez, this is painful...

He's FUCKING adorable. He's a PUPPY DOG. I KNOW he fucked up Talk Soup and I won't ever forgive him, but... geez louise, does he have to be so cute?

Shit. I'm such a loser. Whatever. Whatthefuckever. I like the cute gay boys in their cute gay wonderland. I like the cute lesbians with their slightly dull lesbian storylines. I like the imaginary world where everyone is pretty and life is a big bowl of candy waiting to be unwrapped. I have my problems with the show, sure I do. It's a little smug and can be painfully obvious with the dialogue, but I'm drawn into precisely its over-the-topness. The opening credits are godawful and they have a really fucked-up idea of "ugly"-- Ted? Huh? The ugly one? 34 is old? What?-- and Brian is a fucking asshole, and Lindsay and Michael and Justin are losers for loving him, but I also understand the appeal. Yes, let me talk about this show as if it was real life. I can't believe how much time I'm spending on this topic. Did I mention we've been watching for two days? I can't stop. And I'm starting to understand what my sister sees in the guy-on-guy stuff. Which is the most shocking part, of course. Well, but they're fucking hot.

Um. Anyway. So. Got that out of my system, right? Right? No, three more DVDs to go. Not even close. Shhhhhit.

So, I was thinking about this game my dad and I used to play when I was little. My dad has this amazing ear for and he taught himself the piano when he was a kid and can play anything after hearing it once, that kind of deal. So when I was little we used to play together and it was our thing, and we had a game where one of us would stand with our back turned, and the other one would play a note on the piano, and then the first one would turn around and pick out the note, the object being to get it on as close to the first try as possible.

There's no point to this story. I just miss that game.

What else? Oh. When I was ten I wanted to be a Keaton-- you know, from Family Ties-- so bad. Now I'm watching first season episodes every night on Nick at Nite and I'm remembering that and it's a little disturbing, but also kinda sweet. Kinda sweet.

(Tina Yothers is actually a fifty year old midget. Thank you, Weston.)

I guess I'll go to bed now.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:55 AM | shower me with attention