tavie.com

Two separate people (both of whom are friends of mine) have IMed me within ten minutes of each other to call me a flaming homosexual. This is fun!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:16 AM | shower me with attention

I need to see my soul sister but she is so far away.

...

Well, happily, Cheryl is here! And Mike is here! And tomorrow we'll see Hedwig in the theatre. If we can get in. Apparently if you dress up you get to go up in line. I do not think we're a dressing-up sort of crowd, at heart. I may wear my skullcap, but I don't think I can muster a beard. Maybe it will be really cold and the Hedheads will stay at home. Anyway, we'll be together, and that's the fun part.

Also, tomorrow afternoon is Bea Arthur! So I really should get some sleep...

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:13 AM | shower me with attention

Friday, February 08, 2002

My TETRIS DX ARRIVED!

Thank you, SATAN!!!!

Also: someone on the newsgroup tried to insult me by calling me a "flaming homosexual". "Flaming homo". As an insult. On the Kids in the Hall newsgroup. (These are the same little girls who came in and started jumping on sarah because they don't understand how web pages or blogs work. So I guess I should not be surprised. But I am laughing.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:30 PM | shower me with attention

This guy just passed by my desk, asked if I had AT&T on my cell phone, and directed me to mobilesmarts.com. Consequently, my phone now rings "O, Canada" instead of "Charleston". (I think I'm going to switch it to "Dr Worm", though.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:58 PM | shower me with attention

Go Mike!!!! Proud of ya, dude!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:19 PM | shower me with attention

This guy is so on-property. (If you don't know what "on-property" means, you're definitely off-property. Have fun at your Buena Vista Palace, suckas.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:13 PM | shower me with attention

Hey, I completely understand. In fact, that was the essay that made me cry on the PATH train as I was reading it.

Speaking of incredible brilliance, today really MUST be a holiday-- a GOOSE QUIZ! A GOOSE QUIZ!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:02 PM | shower me with attention

Oh, and: ghosts today. Ghosts everywhere. Walking to the subway, saw an apparition that turned out to be my seventh-grade English teacher, Ms. Kaplan. She used to live in my building but I was sure she'd moved away years ago; I swear I hadn't seen her in at least nine years. But there she was this morning, smilling and sunglassed, with a dignified, "Hello, Octavia", as if we would see each other later in study hall and were not, in fact, ghosts of homeroom past passing each other in long-unexplored hallways. (And do I flatter myself that she remembers me because I was, in fact, teacher's pet? Or does she remember the names and faces of all of her students from 10 years ago?)

The island is full of ghosts to me, you see, because anyone I can still consider friends with from Roosevelt Island moved away years ago. All two of them. Everyone else has been a memory, or a polite nod on the street, since I graduated grade 8. So to have this ghost speak to me, and, furthermore, address me as Octavia, well! It caused me to reflect that I am Octavia to perhaps many more people than I'd thought.

And then, trying a new route to work, I had to pass through that tunnel at 14th street that used to have little alligator statues up against the wall. They were taken down a few years ago, but scuffy outlines remain on the wall-- mere ghosts of their alliagtor selves.

Ooooeeeoooooeeeoooooo....

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:49 AM | shower me with attention

Today! Today, all ye citizens, is Matt Day!!! I expect everyone to behave accordingly. (For some reason, we did not get a four-day holiday weekend here, despite the fact of two holidays occurring back-to-back. I shall have to write my Congressman.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:43 AM | shower me with attention

Thursday, February 07, 2002

Speaking of EPCOT, I only for the first time noticed that it seems to have "officially" moved from an acronym to a regular word; in all the (new?) signs at Disney World, it is spelled "Epcot", rather than "EPCOT". Has it always been this way? I can't recall. I suppose that as far as popular usage is concerned (and what's more important when it comes to language?) it has been considered a word-in-its-own-right (like laser or radar) for almost as long as it's existed, and only geeks know that its full name is Experimental Prototype Community Of Tomorrow. Geeks like me. But I only recently noticed that it's spelled that way on the signs.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:36 PM | shower me with attention

Appalling as it may seem, right next door to EPCOT's Canada is a little shrine to McDonald's. If you look close you can see the tiny golden arches under this poster, which I took a snap of on my trip a few weeks ago.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:25 PM | shower me with attention

This is wonderful. A compilation of quotes from Aimee about her songs, arranged by album. (For some reason, I had to hilite all the text to read it-- black on black-- maybe it's just this crappy browser.)

Also, I've decided that today I'm just being truly bad. I've been truly good lately and today is my day to be truly bad. I'm not getting dressed, I'm not going to linguistics class (not a big loss-- Terry will be there to get notes, and it'll be retread anyway) and I am going to stay in my nightgown and knit and watch tv. And I'm not going to ruin it by feeling guilty.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:49 PM | shower me with attention

Oh my, this is utterly delicious.

Excellent work as always, sarah.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:28 PM | shower me with attention

Hey, you know who else accidentally slept in today? For 13 hours? And didn't call in?

Me, irresponsible me!

I like to think of it as my personal erin celebration, but really it was just plain irresponsible.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:13 PM | shower me with attention

Today one of my best friends turns 21.

Happy Birthday, erin!

In celebration, but probably next week, I will give her her belated Christmas present, ha ha, and her gift from Disney World, ha ha ha, and the really pathetic Harry Potter scarf I've been working on since November. (Hey, my knitting time is limited.)
Actually I'm just going to show her the scarf, and then I'm going to send it off to the magic knitting elves to fix the horrible mistake I made. Hee hee.

Happy birthday, me lovey!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:07 PM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, February 06, 2002

Bought me a long-sleeved Superman shirt. I'm on my way to bein' Jesus!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:02 PM | shower me with attention

Spaz just spilled soda all over her desk. Luckily it only lightly spattered her keyboard and remained in an isolated isle well away from her spreadsheets.

After cleaning it up, Spaz dribbled a bit of yellow soup on her blouse. Luckily, her blouse is also yellow.

That is all.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:14 PM | shower me with attention

I am utterly distressed by the lack of tour dates.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:34 PM | shower me with attention

I love you:
Escalators: Speaking of getting things caught, I'm always afraid that a shoelace will get caught in the teeth or that a sleeve will get caught on the rubber rail, pulling my clothes/shoes with it, not giving me enough time to find the stop button or scream for help, leaving me with only seconds to decide between disrobing and finding myself in an embarrassing situation or keeping my clothes on and either getting strangled to death or having my clothes and skin pulled into the bottom of the escalator and then AHHH! HELP! I'M SKINLESS!

Oh, the laughter, oh the water, oh, my hip!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:03 PM | shower me with attention

In my head on a pleasant little loop.

There is no excuse for not owning this album, and becoming owned by it.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:34 AM | shower me with attention

Blog referral hilarity.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:32 AM | shower me with attention

Hey, Gerard made a film of one of my favourite short stories ever. That is awesome.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:19 AM | shower me with attention

Ade added to the gendered-pronoun discussion with a sidenote on political correctness from Dave:

...how he put it was that being anti-PC was like being Juan Epstein with a note from his mother. Wasn't that it?

That's right, I love that! Here's an excuse to be lazy about other people's feelings, like Juan Epstein with a note from his mother. Right there he made it okay to be PC and referenced a 70's tv icon at the same time. You gotta love it.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:12 AM | shower me with attention

I found GOOSE in my sister's yearbook!

Last night, I was hunting around fruitlessly for a walkman to listen to the hypnosis tape serra (hence known as "evil master whom I live to serve") sent me. No walkman was there found, but right there in front of my was my sister's high school yearbook. I'd been meaning for quite some time to look and see if She-Ra was in it, after learning that she was a seventh grader when my sister was a senior at this particular New York school.

And, flip-flip-flip-GOOSE! There's the little gosling, all big bangs and beams! It's the cutest damn thing you ever saw.

I tried to imagine flipping through the book in 1997, when my sister graduated high school, and stopping on a page of seventh graders, putting my finger down randomly on a face and saying, "One day, this person will be one of my favourite people in the world, my hero and Roam-Roam-Roaming companion, lender of children's books and introducer of television shows!"

The world is really quite small.

Okay. Now. Winners of a cookie:
1. Someone I don't know named Dani!
2. Rachel!
3. Matt!
4. SizzlerSis!
5. Steph!

And may I add, I love opening mails and reading simply the words, "THERE'S A BOY IN THE GIRL'S BATHROOM". Taken abstractly, it feeds my sense of the surreal quite satisfyingly.

Finally, Erica offered a stunning dream interpretation. I won't get into it here, but it was one of those things that should have been obvious to me but wasn't. Aggie rarely fails to impress when it comes to delicate, arrow-straight insight.

Now to work.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:05 AM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, February 05, 2002

I just noticed that Cybermom, who died three years ago this week, is still on my Buddy List. I'm never taking her off, either.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 7:02 PM | shower me with attention

Hey, I'll give a cookie (flavour of your choice) to the first person who knows what book this is from:

"Give me a dollar or I'll spit on you."

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:56 PM | shower me with attention

More often than is convenient, I will get IMed or emailed by strangers who think that I am the only Tavie in the world, and therefore the Tavie they know. (Nevermind that their Tavies probably never gave them their email addresses, if they're simply guessing by IMing or emailing "tavie@aol.com"; let those Tavies worry about it.) My standard response is to politely inform them that they've gotten the wrong email address and I am not the Tavie they seek, and wish them good luck if I'm in a good mood.

Once in awhile the IMers will insist that I am their Tavie, playing a trick on them. At this point I block their IMs and am done with it; I've tried reasoning before with strangers, and unless I'm terrifically bored, I don't find it worth my time.

I just now got IMed by the same person under three different screen names. To the first screen name I explained that I was not who they sought. They insisted, I blocked. Immediately the same person under another screen name appeared. "Tavie rhymes with gravy, not savvy", they called me, proving that they are familiar with my newsgroup sig. (Then why give me a fake name when introducing yourself? If I know you, I know you. If I don't, I don't.) "Don't make me angry," they added right before I blocked them again.

Now a third screen name. "Do NOT block me again, I already have your IP address and I am getting angry. You do not want to make me angry," they threatened.

So I have been forced to block everyone except my friends, something I've been hesitant to do permanently (although I have implemented it on occasion for extended periods) for years because I have been contacted by legitimate friends of mine, in the past, who found me through my screen name.

Oh well. That's what you get, you fucking psychopaths.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:53 PM | shower me with attention

Jessica's post reminded me, and I checked: yesterday was my one-year anniversary of having this blog.

Man, that's a lot of bullshit.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:59 PM | shower me with attention

Now that is more like it. Sneaky, Steph. Very sneaky.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:58 PM | shower me with attention

It is, it seems, impossible for one Miss Me to step outside appropriately dressed for the weather.

I took an extra subway today so I wouldn't have to walk outside as much.

It is fuck-diddly-ucking cold out there, my friends.

Winter coat and scrambled-egg scarf not enough. Need some sort of extra-thick sweater made from slaughtered Peruvian goats' necks or something and chanted over by a wise witch with icicles hanging from her earlobes.

WORK!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:54 AM | shower me with attention

Is this about the buttplug?

(That's what I'm going to call my novel. Is This About the Buttplug? A Novel by o. phillips.)

(No, I'm not. I'm just trying to win the Weirdest Search Referral Contest. There IS such a contest, isn't there? No? Well, you're right. Who on earth would judge such a thing?)

(No more parentheticals. Time to get to work.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:38 AM | shower me with attention

Monday, February 04, 2002

I am, right now, as always, marching to the beat of your drummer.
Now I'm marching to yours.
Wait-- now yours.

I am marching to the beat of everyone else's drummer.

I think it looks cool.

It doesn't.

(But please don't tell me that. Maybe if you don't, I'll never figure it out.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 7:54 PM | shower me with attention

I have yet not to be stunned into open-mouthed awe at any piece of Goose's writing.

Royal Tenenbaums review is no different. (Although I have to once again assert that the soundtrack was, at times, jarring to the point of taking me out of the film.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 7:42 PM | shower me with attention

Fancy plans:

1. Sweden this summer for two weeks.
2. Settle on a major. Declare next semester.
3. Assemble my Jesus-via-Godspell ensemble.
4. Recover from KITH tour enough to reinstate my laptop-fund.

Pants to match:

1. Frequent flyer miles to burn + parental approval + free place to stay = pants to match!
2. TBD.
3. TBD.
4. TBD.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:54 PM | shower me with attention

Steve discusses gender-specific pronouns and states:

The option I have chosen is to just use the masculine pronouns. It's been denegrated as perpetuating the marginalization of women, but I will not use ugly language to be "politically correct."

Why not use feminine pronouns instead? I don't see how that can be considered "ugly language". Or you can just toggle back and forth between masculine and feminine. I see a lot of writers doing it that way, like a toin-coss. I always find it refreshing, and the more it's done, the less jarring it will be to see feminine pronouns used for non-gender-specific situations.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:21 PM | shower me with attention

My friend Tea Rose and I were IMing and she told me that she prefers not to eat things that could have, when alive, killed her for doing them harm.

I said that under the right circumstances, I could be killed by a chicken.

I then proceeded to describe these circumstances, not to Tea Rose in Missouri over the computer, but to Gina, sitting across the room on the futon. Rather than communicating to the proper party with my fingers and a keyboard, I lifted my head, looked at Gina, sitting, knitting, engrossed in the television, and vocalized,

"You know, if you duct-taped me to the floor with my neck exposed and set an angry chicken upon me, it could very easily peck at my neck until I bled to death."

Gina looked up from her knitting, blinked. "What the fuck is your problem?"

Speaking is typing, typing is speaking. Computers and people are blurring and merging. Monitor screens and three-dimensional faces and voices are losing their distinctive signifying qualities.

I think I'm going all funny and rotten up top in my head. And I think I'm rather enjoying it.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:09 PM | shower me with attention

Can the weather cause chronic headaches? Affect sinus pressure or something?

Last night, dreamed I had a baby that I didn't want like Miranda on Sex and the City (trash, but addictive trash, and no better or worse than the trash that is Queer as Folk) and that I had to train to become a medical transcriptionist, because typing things was all I'd be able to do for the rest of my life, to support me and my baby. And my mom refused to help me in any way; wouldn't even touch the baby.

What a stupid dream.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:25 AM | shower me with attention

Sunday, February 03, 2002

AOL Verizon needs to kiss my ass.

56k modems need to kiss my ass.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:40 PM | shower me with attention

I can't believe Ade's tree blew down. I know exactly which one she's talking about. It's so sad.

This is right after noticing for the first time, as I walked past the Thirteen Sisters the other day (don't ask-- they're some trees on the island I have kind of a special relationship with) and actually counted them for the first time in a few years. Twelve. Then I noticed the stump. When they shaved off all their lower branches, they cut one down. I actually felt guilty for not having noticed until then.

But it's not as sad as the bird-feeder tree. :(

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:00 PM | shower me with attention