tavie.com

I was watching a bit of My Fair Lady earlier and I had "I Could've Danced All Night" in my head. So I was upstairs, in the bathroom, washing my hands and singing it and I suddenly caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror-- salmon-coloured nightshirt under blue bathrobe, pasty skin, purple circles, unwashed hair pulled back under the Yitzhak-inspired skullcap Gina got me from Pirates of the Caribbean (I'm a pirate!)-- and, man. I mean, I think I was doing a fair Marni Nixon imitation, but the voice paired with that apparition was just... hm. Grotesque.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:42 PM | shower me with attention

Gina is on the tufon watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, which I have never seen.

It seems pretty surreal, as children's movies go. And, turns out, Roald Dahl had a hand in the screenplay.

Speaking of the surreal, saw this site linked on boing boing. I find it very intriguing indeed. They draw comic strips of dreams that people submit to them. Other people's dreams are much more interesting to look at than hear about.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:28 PM | shower me with attention

I did not expect this link that I got from Tara to actually frighten me, but it did, once I saw it.

I'm alone here because Gina is out for a walk. She's been walking every night, like she used to a few years ago. That's so great; it's such a healthy thing to do. I wish I could do that. I can't go for walks. I hate walks. They're so damned boring. Even with music they're boring. If I could walk and read at the same time, that would be something. But I would bump into things.

I used to take walks occasionally at sunrise when I was out of school in my hermit-slacker phase. Being in the apartment all the time would make me crazy, so I'd occasionally change out of the pajamas and go out with a walkman. But it got boring.

I don't have time to walk anyway. I have school after work and then it's dark and I'm pooped.

So much for health.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:13 PM | shower me with attention

It feels good to be home, and sleep in.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:59 AM | shower me with attention

Friday, February 01, 2002

You know who should open for Carl Money Mark$ and the Bourgeoisie? Carl Barks and the World's Richest Ducks.

I am not funny but I am achy.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:58 PM | shower me with attention

Hey there, big boy. Would you like to buy a monkey?

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish they'd unlock the database already. The boredom is tuckering me out.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:55 PM | shower me with attention

This is so perfectly in tune right now. I laughed out loud. Thanks, Djinny.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:38 PM | shower me with attention

My head aches constantly with sinus pressure. Last night I was wound tighter than a violin string and lay twisted and jittery under my covers for many hours.

Consequently, I called Alex this morning and told her I'd be in late.

Now I'm here, and I'm locked out of the database, with no choice but to surf the internet until access can be re-gained!

I could be in bed, but instead I'm being paid to blog.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:28 PM | shower me with attention

All signs in my life point to the University of Chicago.

...

I need to crawl back into bed and go back to sleep now.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:05 PM | shower me with attention

Thursday, January 31, 2002

Laughing at the best description of Roosevelt Island I've ever come across.

Whoops, gotta get to class.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:54 PM | shower me with attention

I do not feel well.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:20 PM | shower me with attention

Oh, Susie
they get to me
they can really be wearying.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:49 PM | shower me with attention

No, not now! Not now! I don't have time for this!

FUCK!!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:38 PM | shower me with attention

I just dropped the Ancient Comedies class. I'm recognizing my limits early on so I don't drag down my GPA any more.

I am ignoring the nagging sense of personal failure.

Some camps wisely suggest I drop this job and find something more reasonable along work-study lines. Other camps (the ones that feed and house me) insist that I need to hold onto this job as long as possible and if that means dropping a class, so be it.

As for me, I cannot muster the energy to do things that I know I should do, school-wise. (Three major ones: try and get into that honours class, get those damn anthro credits transferred, and call my Feminism professor about the final I missed last semester, resulting in a C, dragging down my average considerably.) They all involve seeking out and reasoning with authority figures, a daunting task for me under the least stressful of circumstances, and right now, I barely have time to be writing this right now, I have such an enormous pile of work on my desk right now.

My nonconfrontational, hiding-under-the-bed nature is running me into trouble now. Courage? To leave this job, to seek my grades, credits and classes? None.

Oh, god.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:47 PM | shower me with attention

I was in a Beth dream. This is exciting. I love chicks. I want a Valentine from her. She should ask Punky Brewster for my address.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:04 AM | shower me with attention

I know I'm talking about the stupid quiz too much, but:

It looks like this person has completed your quiz more than once using this/these name(s): olive picklefeather, me, boo ha ha, mrs picklefeather, la la la, sha na na

In god's name, who ARE you??

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:49 AM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, January 30, 2002

I need the two of you, whoever you are, the two of you out of the 37 people who took my quiz, who think I live on Riker's Island, to go and look up "Riker's Island" and have a bit of a chuckle. Thank you.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:37 PM | shower me with attention

Two things:

1. A stranger came up to me on the street, told me he loved my hair, and walked away. I love that.

2. Surprisingly, my sister scored perfectly on my quiz (using what she percieves as a terribly clever alias, "Tara the Blow Queen"; not to be confuzed with Tara, who is not, to my knowledge, a Blow Queen, whatever that is.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 7:47 PM | shower me with attention

You know what's exciting? When people are Canadian.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:15 PM | shower me with attention

Staaaaage leeeeeft!
Enter Toronto Steph and she's dressed in yellow yolk!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:06 PM | shower me with attention

You know a pair of twins named Sharon and Susan? Like in The Parent Trap?

Oh, that's so funny.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:00 PM | shower me with attention

I am a SUPER-SLEUTH!

They've been making me sit in all these meetings at work, so I can get a better idea of the scope of the project that I'm playing my little part in, and they're realllllllly long and boring and I have to sit still and try to figure out what they're talking about. So, of course, I get bored.

Today I noticed for the first time that Arnold says "pro-cess" instead of "prah-cess". So just now as he walked by my desk I sang out, "Hey, Arnold, are you Canadian?"

And he IS! He's from Montreal!

A real life Canadian spy in our midst all this time!!!!

I knew I liked that guy.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:57 PM | shower me with attention

It as an endless series of small hassles today, designed to make me insane.

Remind me again why I prefer this life over my former slacker-hermit state?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:02 PM | shower me with attention

Sometimes I wonder if we're livin' in the same land.
Why you wanna be my friend?
when I feel like a juggler runnin' out of hands,

Sang Elvis C. I nodded.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:52 PM | shower me with attention

School last night. Two classes.

1. Ancient Comedies in Translation - Tiny, stuffy room. Boring guy. He talks and talks without making any attempts to engage us, and I find my self-loathing quotient increase dramatically. Too stupid to be here, shouldn't be in college, want to drop out, I hate this school. Almost start crying.

2. Intro to Linguistics. Taken with my friend Terry. Large room. Professor engaging. I suspect she is one of those mad linguists who see prescriptive approaches to language as the last acceptable prejudice in our society. I sense arguments brewing from other students, theretofore unintroduced to the formal concepts (and conceits) of high and low registers of grammar. Suddenly stop hating self, find self interested in class. (Helps that I took an advanced linguistics course two semesters ago and aced it, so intro should be a breeze.)

Tonight: Modernist Poetry.

Now: Assload of work.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:24 AM | shower me with attention

Which Kids In The Hall recurring character are YOU?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:10 AM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, January 29, 2002

I'll play, too. sarah says:

hey, you know, everyone should blog 5 songs that they recommend other people download. because hey. i love audiogalaxy.

I pick,

1. Jimmy Still Comes Around - The Loud Family
2. Two of Us - Aimee and Michael
3. Origin of Love - Hedwig (either version)
4. Blame it on Cain - Elvis Costello
5. Throw Your Arms Around Me - Crowded House's version (really the live one where they're teaching Jules Shear[??] the words - most possibly my all-time favourite MP3)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:48 PM | shower me with attention

By the way, everyone make a quiz please. I grow bored.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:39 PM | shower me with attention

You anonymous and ambiguous people taking my quiz need to 'fess up! I know too many Steph(ie)s to be able to sort this out on my own. ;)

Ironically, the person who has known me the longest (Asti) scored the lowest. That's what she gets for living with a gorgeous British husband in a gorgeous British house. She loses out on her precious Tavie trivia.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:52 PM | shower me with attention

What took me so long to add her? She's obviously my real twin that Kirsten got switched at birth with.

I am reminded: Guess who's seeing Bea Arthur on Broadway!
Me! Me, baby!

Oh, and my friend Steph. I should really tell her before she makes plans for that day. Not that I couldn't easily find someone else to take the ticket. I mean, it's Bea Arthur.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:27 PM | shower me with attention

Because I'm copying Jen, and because the last one I made was hard to get into, and, most of all, because I am self-centered, narcissistic, and procrastinating, I did this just now.

Back to work.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:24 PM | shower me with attention

Tonight, first day of school. My friend Terry got into linguistics with me. That's a relief. That means I can miss some classes if they're not attendance nazis, and still get an A. Heh heh.

Not so sleepy yet. Have been taking melatonin before bed. Don't know if it's placebo or not but seems to work. I wake up briefly every hour, but fall back asleep and wake up vaguely on time for work. This week's Time Out all about sleep and lack thereof. Very appropriate.

Listening to Squeeze.

Ignoring office politics even as they directly affect me.

Just recieved email for Octavia Phillip again. There is someone who works for my company, in the Tampa offices, whose name is Octavia Phillip. (Like my name without the s.) Crazy, huh? Sometimes I get her email. Also got another call for Tiffany, while I was in Florida. Next time I get a call for Tiffany I'm going to pretend I'm Tiffany.

The orange ink on my fingers, the name of the band I am listening to, and the growling in my stomach all remind me that it is time to peel my orange and chow down.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:05 PM | shower me with attention

Which drink are you?

No I'm not.

(c/o the Pink Lady)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:42 AM | shower me with attention

Monday, January 28, 2002

Last night, I completed the Sunday NYT Crossword in ink. I often come close (within 75%) to finishing; I have, in the past, finished it; but never in ink.

And within two hours of starting it, to boot.

And with only a little teeny-weeny help from my mom.

I rule.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:56 PM | shower me with attention

Note to self: haven't played Dragonrealms in weeks. Perhaps should stop paying for it.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:04 PM | shower me with attention

There are politics about, nasty politics, nasty office politics and someone's trying to blame the temp and I don't like it. I don't like it and I won't stay here if I don't like it.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:44 PM | shower me with attention

Yes, I admit it. The word cruciverbalist was already a part of my vocabulary. I am a big fat giant crossword-puzzle-lovin' geek. The philosophaster in me wants to believe that geekdom is just a state of mind, but knows that in reality it is a behaviour that invades the core of every being who feels the need to bloviate on the subject of the completion of puzzles, the use of graphite or ink, the increasing difficulty of the weekly puzzles, and other topics of interest only to cruciverbalists, and that, truly, anyone who is so socially ambisinister as to go on and on about a topic that no one except perhaps Will Shortz is interested in, to the exclusion of other topics of conversation, should be punished for their misocainea.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:23 PM | shower me with attention

Sunday, January 27, 2002

All in all. Not all and all. Silly.

Do you know what I realized? I may care about a lot of things that I shouldn't, such as how misshapen and ugly my body is or whether or not my do-rag looks stupid or whether I accidentally wrote "all and all" instead of "all in all", but the one thing I don't care about is whether or not my haircut looks good on me. Or, rather, my lack of any sort of haircut whatsoever.

I may be aware that my ends are unattractively split, or that maybe there are styles or cuts that would be more flattering to my face, or that healthy-looking hair is more important than length, or that one day it will be grey and I will be "too old" to "pull off" this length, but I don't give one grain of a damn what the outside world thinks of my hair. This hair is for the Tavie world. The inside world. The me world. Me.

I love my hair.

And I'm actually proud of this fact.

So there's something.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:58 PM | shower me with attention

Today, fought valiantly against the Seductive Monster of Daytime Sleep and ventured onto the mainland with my sister, to purchase melatonin and Japanese snacks. I found the exact pair of sneakers I require, but not in my size. They only had sizes 3 and 4. I've never even heard of sizes 3 and 4.

(If you come across mustard-coloured Converse hightops in women's 10 or men's 8, buy them for me immediately.)

Afterwards, secured a copy of the Sunday crossword from my little love, and failed to gather up Progo from the loving arms of Erica's roommate.

All and all, a productive day. As a reward, I discovered that school shall not start until Tuesday. Hoorah!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:04 PM | shower me with attention

Once again The New York Times has failed to deliver my Sunday magazine with the rets of my Sunday newspaper.

They did, however, deliver a notice about their upcoming price increases for home delivery.

Rat bastards. I want my magazine. I want my crossword. It's not fair.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:30 PM | shower me with attention

Jiggety jog.

Best part of trip: Dancing down Main Street in the Magic Kingdom hand-in-hand with my mom as the park was closing. Street nearly empty; overture from "Summer Magic" playing; Mom and I are shuffling and spinning each other around; Dad is embarrassed (yay!).

Worst part of trip: Any meal taken in a restaurant with my father. Particularly when his bleeding ulcer is mentioned for the benefit of the waiter.

Baffling: My chronic headache and the pain in my hip that grows worse daily.

Itchy: Three mosquito bites.

Addictive: David Sedaris. Although I am in the middle of at least three other books, I had to buy Barrel Fever at Downtown Disney Virgin Megastore as soon as I was done with Me Talk Pretty...

Most absurdly thrilling moment: Late-night reading of David Sedaris's chapter in Me Talk Pretty One Day entitled "21 Down", detailing his cruciverbalism. I squealed. I almost woke the others up. David Sedaris is my soulmate! Another reason to wish I was a gay man.

Best moment with sister: Lunch at Akershus, the Norwegian restaurant in Fake Norway at EPCOT. Mmm, mackeral.

Why I should be extremely wealthy: Need to own a hot tub. Tavie like-a the hottubs.

Why I feel so very, very tired: School starts Monday. School and work. I still can't sleep at night. Fuck.

Best overall purchase: Hedwig book from Virgin Megastore in Downtown Disney.

However: Just reading it made me cry, and in order to prolong the emotional rush, I very deliberately waited until Kirsten fell asleep last night, and then took my Discman out on the balcony; set myself up with "Midnight Radio" and a good view of the moon, and had a cry.

Finally: Like Gina, all I can feel right now is fat. It consumes my thoughts always; I do believe I am becoming one of those people who actively avoids mirrors and doesn't keep them around because of the emotional turmoil whenever one catches a glimpse of oneself. This is something I shall need to find help with.

I should have taken a sleepy pill earlier. This is my last night to stay up late.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:14 AM | shower me with attention