tavie.com

Spent the morning crying my eyes out. Mom is home today. We are taking a break from watching Amelie so that she can wash her hair and I can email my resume to that recruiter who has offered me a well-paying, doable-sounding job in... Mineola. Mineola. I would have to commute out of the city to Long Island. Every day. And then get back in time for school.

It was good to cry my eyes out and think terrible things about my future. It was gooder (not better, gooder) that my soft-hearted progenitor is scraping up enough money for me to spend a few days at Mint Manor, where I rarely cry my eyes out.

Please, I really need to know, someone, anyone: what shall I do with my life? Where shall I go and what shall I be? Please don't say civil servant or secretary or I'll cry again. I used to think I could be more but now I am growing up and seeing how things will probably play out and it is hurting me. (And yes, I know the difference between being a secretary to pay the bills while you're becoming a doctor of what-have-you, and settling for being a drudge for the state because there was nothing else that you were good at enough to do for a living. One is my mentor and the other my father and I'd rather be like her than him, but I think I'm more him than her. This isn't making sense to anyone else but me. I need another cup of coffee.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:11 AM | shower me with attention