tavie.com

Dear Tiffany,

I don't know you. I'm sure you don't know me. Perhaps you're the person who stole my cell phone when I left it in psychology class on Monday, September 10th. Perhaps that was you, and you were too stupid to realize that of course I would get a new phone and have my old number switched over. Perhaps you are a stupid cow and did not realize this, and gave out your "new" number to your friends, and now you're too embarrassed to tell them that yours is a stolen cell phone, and so you let them think they're misdialing. A lot.

Or perhaps it's all a simple mistake. Perhaps you used to have my cell phone number, and now you have a new one but you forgot to update a group of your friends and relations approximately the size of Rhode Island.

Whatever the deal is, please, please have your friends stop calling my cell phone and asking for you.

Yes, please do, before I decide to amuse myself by telling them that I'm you, and that I, Tiffany, would dearly love to fuck their mothers with a hot curling iron.

Thank you.

Tavie

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:16 PM | shower me with attention