tavie.com

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:24 PM | shower me with attention

Thursday, April 19, 2001

I just wasted 2 hours of my life doing an incredibly inane and pointless assignment for Sociology class, which I'm getting an A in anyway. (If I don't get an A plus, in fact, I will have to take issue with someone.) I had to go to a million different websites and gather information as if I were applying to grad school. It makes me want to never, ever, ever apply to grad school.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:36 PM | shower me with attention

If anyone knows anything about the former Rhodesia, particularly its relationship to South Africa, please help me. I have to give a report in front of my anthro class next Wednesday and I'm going to make a tremendous fool of myself.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:03 AM | shower me with attention

Matt tricked me into going to his web page so I would get the song "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips stuck in my head. He should be punished.

However, it is a very good web page and I like reading about him. He's lovely.

When my sister and I were in junior high we knew a boy named Sammy Wilson. Our teacher used to say we should form the new "Wilson Phillips". Only there'd be 2 Phillips and 1 Wilson in this one. But I'd still have to be "The Carnie", don't you know.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:00 AM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, April 18, 2001

The weekend after next is the last chance Linn will have to go to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Kitana will be here too, and that is great. Check in now if you want to go.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:52 AM | shower me with attention

The New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle for the week of April 8 (I'm catching up) is so unutterably evil that I can't even go into it here. Will Shortz must die.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:48 AM | shower me with attention

Art class went fine, although I still can't figure out how to draw Lexington avenue. I hate one-point perspective and two-point perspective and perspective in general. Down with perspective; up with total distortion!

Terry saved my ass again in sociology. He is such a good guy, honestly. He once again pulled me from a regular A back up to A-plus status by getting me an extra homework sheet. I will have the opportunity to do the same for him on Thursday, as he has to miss class then. I only hope I can do a bit of good in return.

I think I need to just stop eating in general, at all times, ever. I think I should officially be done eating, starting now. No more eating. I've been eating for 21 years, enough already.

Next up: giving up going to the bathroom.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:47 AM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, April 17, 2001

I'm nervous about going to art class today. I missed the last one before the break (and hence my chance to hand in my makeup work for the "midterm") and I'm still about 3 homeworks behind. They're going to yell at me for missing class and I'm going to be all behind and confused and frustrated.

I will go, but it will not be fun.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:15 PM | shower me with attention

Monday, April 16, 2001

I've been scanning Gina and Linn's Humber pics all night and amusing myself by singing Julie Andrews songs because the CD player in this computer is total shit and won't work.

I haven't finished scanning Linn's yet. She has a lot. I have to go to bed. It's 5:30 and I have a class at 1. I hope I can get up in time. Oh dear.

I really need to learn the words to more Julie Andrews songs. I know so very few, and singing like Julie Andrews may be my one true talent in this world. It is something I can actually admit to myself that I am good at. When I ran out of Sound of Music and Mary Poppins songs (I only know a few from each) I started singing the Nick at Nite lineup theme songs in Julie's voice. I actually cracked myself up. I haven't done that in a long time. My favourite is Julie singing the "Diff'rent Strokes" theme. I may cut an album. I may tour. Maybe this is what I'm destined for in life...

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:33 AM | shower me with attention

Wait, I have more things to say.

Maybe it's because of Easter or something, but I've been comparing myself to Jesus all day. I realized I have a tendency to do that. It's not a God Complex so much as that I think it highly humorous that someone as pasty and sad and, to date, generally pathetic as myself might compare themselves to Jesus. There's not just the hankering to play Jesus in a production of "Godspell", but today I drew that enormous chalk portrait of myself in Gina's driveway just because I felt I should have some sort of giant graven image of myself somewhere for imaginary disciples to gather around.

There's really nothing at all Jesus-like about me. I was thinking about it. We don't have a thing in common. Not one thing. He's a man. I'm a woman. He's dead. I'm not. He's, allegedly, the son of God. I'm the daughter of alleged civil servants. (They COULD be international spies.) He had a beard. I suppose I have enough
male hormones in me to be able to grow a few wisps, but probably wouldn't allow them to remain, for cosmetic reasons. Jesus couldn't care a fig about cosmetic reasons, if what they say is true. He looks good in white. I do not. He is the basis of one of the largest religions in the world. I am the basis of A Cult Of Tavie, which consists of myself worshipping myself, secretly. Sandals give me blisters. I could go on and on, but it would just depress me more and more. I am so not Jesus. I'm not even entirely Jewish.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:21 AM | shower me with attention

I have decided to forgive erin for seeing Spy Kids because I'm sure she'll forgive me for liking Almost Famous, which I have a feeling is just too mainstream for her tastes. ;) I'll even lend her my copy of A Swiftly Tilting Planet, which, coincidentally, I just got a new/old copy of from half.com because our copy is read to shreds and I discovered, to my shock, that Kirsten had never read it.

Also she should read Many Waters. (erin, I mean. Kirsten has read it many times.)

And she can borrow my "Twitch City" tape that has 12 out of 13 episodes on it. The 13th episode is on some other tape that I haven't yet catalogued.

There's a site where, apparently, if you're Canadian you may be able to purchase The Herd, a Canadian film that I've never seen but wanted to for some reason. (Maybe because Don McKellar and Mark McKinney are each in for about a second.) They don't let you purchase it if you're not from Canada. Isn't that funny?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:05 AM | shower me with attention

There was more than one Tour going on this time last year. There were more than the Kids know and there were even more than The Goils know. It's really something. It brought a lot of people together. They're still together. That's pretty big. That's really something important.

(I'm not referring to just Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson here, either. {g})

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:59 AM | shower me with attention

Kitana reminds me that today (yesterday is still today because I haven't gone to bed yet) is the one-year anniversary of our Last Tour Show in Walling-ford. I may weep, I really may.

I just watched Almost Famous and I really loved it. I just did. It struck chords in me. The fandom thing. The glamour of Tour Life versus Real Life. I love Philip Seymour Hoffman. I love Frances McDormand. That Patrick Fugit boy was adorable. I even liked Kate Hudson a lot. Kate Hudson, the Golden Girl. I think this may be somehow hormonal, but then, I think that liking anything is all a matter of having the right hormones in the right bloodstream at the right time. That's all "striking a chord" means. That's why sometimes Michael Penn's "Bunker Hill" makes me cry and sometimes Rowlf and Sam the Eagle singing "Tit Willow" does.

And The Tour was a year ago. Officially over a year ago. Although it never quite ended. It feels like it's sort of going on forever, only the ripples are getting bigger. They're just at the edges of the Tavie Pond now and going out to sea. (Let me have my metaphors, you fittas!) The ripples are still there. That's why Linn lives in Mint Manor and sometimes I do, too, and we make trips to Toronto to see Kitana and why cheese fries and cigarette lighters and spiralling shapes and noisemakers and people with their feet in buckets make us all laugh.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:57 AM | shower me with attention

Sunday, April 15, 2001

I had a very nice Easter at Mint Manor. I will go home soon and read my 80 new AOL messages and plow through the newsgroups and ignore my homework until the last second.
The Easter Bunny gave me and Linn a big basket full of goodies for Easter and Linn and I went out today and coloured on the driveway of Mint Manor. We had just watched the 2000 Jesus Christ Superstar on PBS and I was feeling Jesus-y, so I drew a Glorious Superstar Self Portrait in pastel chalk. It was enormous. Linn decorated the walk with girly symbols... flowers and stars and eggs. It all looked quite magnificent.
And then.

We heard a voice bellowing from all around us. Frightened, Linn and I dropped our chalk and looked around wildly to see from whence the mysterious voice issued. Was it God?

It was The Landlady. She did not like the chalk (too... Puerto Rican? Golly!) and it must be eradicated immediately, or else the cat would have to go.

"Riley, lick it up!" Linn cried.
"Mew."

So Linn and I had to roll up our sleeves and pantlegs and, as the clouds gathered overhead and Sweet Gina, who had argued so fruitlessly for our art (STINKBUTT!!), gathered her laundry off the line, we fetched bucket after bucket of cruel icy water to wash the chalk away. Damp, chalky, singing Negro spirituals and songs from "Cinderella", we toiled like Easter slaves to erase any trace of magic that may have graced our dwelling.

As The Easter Bunny put it, "Your chalk art died so that Riley might live."

Mew.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:25 PM | shower me with attention