tavie.com

I need to go home.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:07 PM | shower me with attention

Blogger, suck my dick. Where were you when I needed you? (For that matter, where's my non-existent dick when I needed it?)

I hate you.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:07 PM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, April 11, 2001

I scammed Gina into buying me a book of Logic Problems at the supermarket by promising I wouldn't do ANY until I've finished reading this South Africa book (something like 400 pages to go). Right after she went to bed I pounced on the logic problems. I am a naughty little monkey.

I think I live my life with the purpose of being as comfortable as possible at any given moment. This explains many of the problems I have getting along in the world, as well as some of my self-esteem issues. (I love me! I hate me! I love me! I hate me! I AM Mr Underwood.)

Poopy poopy doopy doopy do do da do ran ran.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:59 AM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, April 10, 2001

There, I peed. Now I can discuss my Friday in Hoboken. I have to read this entire book on South Africa and prepare a report on chapter 8 to present to my anthro class next week, but why do that when I can sit here at 1:30 am and discuss my Friday in Hoboken?

I met Goose and Matt and we went to Goose's house to watch Advice From a Caterpillar. It was very, very bad. I laughed a lot because I was with Goose and Matt and they make me laugh, for they are very funny. I tried to pretend I didn't feel not-cool enough to hang out with them. It worked pretty well except I kept saying the word "panties" a lot in a semi-British accent and laughing. I laughed until I got the hiccups. I'm sure that charmed them.

Goose lives in the coolest apartment I've ever seen. I can't describe it adequately; it's just too amazing.

They also made me watch Gilmore Girls which, I am chagrined to admit, was not awful. I'm still grappling with this fact and may have to see several more episodes to comprehend it more fully. (Purely research, you understand.)

---- and I have been trading emails that consist of nothing but haikus about mullets. This could not be more fun.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:34 AM | shower me with attention

I'm spending Spring Break here at Mint Manor 'cause I have nothing better to do than soak up time with my goils. Linn is going home soon. She says she wants to go live in Canada. I say, "Noooooo". It's better than Sweden, but I will say "Noooooo" to any suggestion that involves Linn not living here, or in the city, or any rate close enough for me to be annoyed when she leaves fruit peels around.

Gina and Linn came home with a kite today and we took it to the park down the hill, but it was too crowded and not windy enough so we just walked around and enjoyed the outside. It was nice and sunny with a heaviness that foreshadowed the storm that came later on and made Gina quake like a little mouse. In the park Linn and I went down near the dirty river and threw stones in as the sun was setting. (She skipped stones, and I merely plunked stones.) I saw some glorious mud and couldn't resist squishing it around. It's a very dirty river and I'll probably die of some horrible disease, but it was such lovely mud. Gina said I might as well go rinse my hands off in the dirty river, so I carefully stepped over to do so, and my barette fell out of my hair and went "sploosh". Then it was gone and I had all this hair in my face that I didn't want to touch with my polluted hands. It was very comical. Linn and I walked home and I had my hair in my face the whole time and muddy hands and I felt like a wild beast. I have a whole lot of hair and it's hard to see when I can't push it back so sometimes I had to walk backwards, against the wind.

I think the most disturbing part of "It's Pat" is the dream-sequence where we see Dave, in black-and-white, as a lettuce-head. Disturbingly like a cabbage-head for my taste.

I have to pee but I don't want to get up.

Oh, Matt, if I had to pick between the three people you chose, there's no question that I'd choose to be Aimee. Besides the obvious beauty and genius, she's gotten to make out with Certain Someones I'm Known To Love, as well as being married to Michael Penn (a.k.a. The Dreamiest Dreamboat This Side of Dreamsville).

Don't worry, I won't pee on Gina's tufon.

Dave in Toronto in July? He should come with me to Sweden to visit Linn, instead. Whaddya think, should I pitch this idea to him? {g}

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:27 AM | shower me with attention

1:15 am in Mint Manor. Had to turn off "It's Pat" because it got up to the part where I came in last time I was here. Can't help but watch the Dave and be jealous of the Julia.
Also jealous of Miss Linn who gets to see Hedwig in Toronto. Please Dear Scott let it last until I can get up there to see it. You damned Torontonians better just make it as popular as it can be!

In actuality, between Goose and Matt and I, I would not get to be James Dean. The only reason it came up is because I was wearing a pleather jacket and remarked, as we sat in a 50's-style burger joint, that I felt like James Dean. Actually, Goose is James Dean, Matt is Miss Wood and I am Sal Mineo. Or, possibly. Matt is James Dean and Goose is Miss Wood. In either case, I am still Sal Mineo and always shall be. (See any of my previous entires on My Life As A Fawner for further details.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:18 AM | shower me with attention