tavie.com

But why no sleep? Was so tired. Too many thoughts.

I know what I am. I am sugar-free Jell-O™. Sweet. Yielding. Insubstantial. Bright. Monochrome. Transparent. Bland. Cheap. Sweet. Sweet.

I love. I'm good. I don't do anything. I love. I don't contribute. I'm not as sharp as some. I'm not as dull as some. What's my worth? Why not luxuriate in self-loathing? Is this masochism? Poke at the bruise of my consciousness all night instead of sleeping? Ooh, you're so terrible. Ooh, you're so worthless. Ooh, you're so fat. Ooh, you're so stupid. Can't think clearly. Can't see clearly. Never saw clearly. Never thought clearly. And do I really love? Is love just feeling, or is it feeling and doing? If I can't even love, what is there????

Yes, yes, yes, but, but, but, and, and, and.

I'm miles of numb flesh surrounding a tiny, flickering core.

I'm miles of numb metaphors surrounding a tiny, flickering intellect.

Jell-O™.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:06 AM | shower me with attention