i stopped taking my medication for my depression. how is something supposed to make me feel better when i'm so damn tired all day? i know i keep going back to it but i'm going to have to give st. john's wort another try.

the show yesterday was bittersweet...the bad things were that no one from work came, my goils couldn't be there and my voice kind of crapped out on me. i was able to sing okay but i could have done so much better...i mean i *have* done those songs so much better. but the crowd really got into us (even though it was 80% our friends ) especially during black hole timmy and kind and generous... the whole crowd sang along which was good cause by that time my voice was almost completely gone. my sister barbara saw me perform for the first time and cried during our cover of "sister don't cry" (IRONY!!) and my auntie barbara was there but she would have gushed if i had gone up there and farted so her opinion doesn't really count ...

can someone tell me why i attract guys who have major flaws or are involved with me in other circumstances which make it impossible for me to date them? at my age, my requirements for datability have changed and where i am not truly materialistic, a guy who can support himself would be a plus. why do i seem to attract guys who don't have a car, live with their parents and have a minimum-wage dead-end job? i want a partner, not a child. i don't want a sugar daddy, i just don't want to be taking care of someone else financially either.

fyi, guitar center is evil in a plastic baggie...they are rude assholes who don't care how much money you plop down in their store, they will fuck you up the ass anyway. there, i feel better : P...

if i don't see my goils soon i'm gonna 'splode. it has surprised me that my life has gotten quite busy, with work, with the band, etc., and instead of distracting me from thoughts of my goils, they wind up popping up even more as i am constantly wishing they were here to experience such and such with me or support me when i'm nervous (although i know they do that in spirit). but i need to *see* them...i do

a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 00:31