tavie.com

I am exhausted in the dream and I become more exhausted in my sleep, if that's possible. I wake up tired, amazed that I can even get out of bed...

...In my waking like, I am almost this tired...

...That's the thing I want to make clear about depression: It's got nothing at all to do with life. In the course of life, there is sadness and pain and sorrow, all of which, in their right time and season, are normal--unpleasant, but normal. Depression is an altogether different zone because it involves sa complete absence: absence of affect, absence of feeling, absence of response, absense of interest. The pain you feel in the course of a major depression is an attempt on nature's part (nature, after all, abhors a vacuum) to fill up the empty space...

...And the scariest part is that if you ask anyone in the throes of depression how he got there, to pin down the turning point, he'll never know...

...in the midst of a wildly vibrant city like New York, raised by people who were not really involved or engaged in the culture...

...helping me fill in patterns on the Lite Brite... dancing around the living room with me while we played Free to Be You and Me...

...they all seemed to enjoy braiding my long, long hair...

...until I really cracked up, at ten or eleven or twelve or whenever it was, you most certainly would have described me as, well, as full of promise...

...Dr. Isaac is the psychiatrist that the school psychologist recommended to my mother when I started to spend more time hanging out in her office than in the classroom...

...By now I have an entire secret life that my mother either doesn't know or doesn't want to know about: Several days a month I wake up in the morning and get dressed to go to school, but instead I take my knapsack and head over tot he local McDonald's, drink tea and eat an Egg McMuffin for breakfast, wait until my mother has left for work at 9:00, and then I go back home and get into bed for the rest of the day...

...Nothing about my life seemed worthy of art or literature or even of just plain life. It seemed too stupid, too girlish, too middle-class...
Prozac Nation

Thank you, Elizbeth Wurtzel, for writing my book. Now what am I going to write?

Oh, well, at least she's not fat.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:18 AM | shower me with attention