tavie.com

I had an amazing dream on Saturday night that had me slightly euphoric most of Sunday, just on pure dream residue. I keep thinking about it. It was about meeting Glen Keane, my childhood hero, the greatest living Disney animator. In the dream I met him and I told him that a long time ago when I was a little girl full of delusions I wanted to be just like him when I grew up, and in the dream he took me under his wing and had me work on a project with him, and taught me everything and I was drawing like mad and full of excitement and creative energy the likes of which I have never felt in waking life, nor even come close to since the days before Effexor (which has been sapping my creative juices for nigh on 8 years now.)

And then last night, I dreamed that it was before college and I had applied to an art school and gotten in but declined it to go to Hunter, and was lamenting to erin, "Why didn't I go to that school? Why did I give that up? What was I thinking?" and she was like, "Dude, I dunno."

Yet in my waking life I don't even think I could draw a straight line anymore. I don't even doodle anymore. I don't even doodle, what the hell has happened to me? I think my subconscious really misses drawing, but my consciousness doesn't have clue one what to do.

Maybe I just miss those damn art classes at school where the professors told me I was worth something.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:46 PM | shower me with attention