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Mr Sandman...

Hey, you know what, I realized my favourite song in Assassins is "The Ballad of Czolgolz" some time ago, but the other day I also realized that is the hoe-down song, as in "there's always a hoe-down song", and that, more often than not, the hoe-down song is my favourite song in any given musical. (Except The Music Man. I mean, Shapoopie. Come on. Shapoopie.*)

Maybe I should host a hoe-down. Are hoe-downs hosted, or do they just happen spontaneously? And do they require the appearance of an actual hoe, or a fiddler or something at least? Do they need to happen in a barn? Has New York City ever hosted a hoe-down? Can I rent a barn? Can I rent a fiddler? (Can it be Joshua Bell?) Should there be bales of hay? I wish Michael Kidd was here. And that's the first time I've ever said that. And probably the last. What a weird thing to say: "I wish Michael Kidd was here." I have to go to sleep now. Good night.

*Lifted from that cunt, Andy Prieboy. I don't actually have a favourite song in The Music Man; I find all of the music fairly tepid. I just wanted to make a White Trash Wins Lotto reference.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:14 PM | shower me with attention