tavie.com

Ever so much better today. Still a scabby forehead and bad sinuses, but chipper and rosy nonetheless. However, now Frick and Frack are dick as sogs. I like to share the lovin'.

I stood in the rain for awhile until I had mermaid hair. Were my grandmother alive, she'd be giving birth to a bovine ruminant at the very thought of it.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:01 PM | shower me with attention

Friday, May 30, 2003

My face is a big mess. A big ugly mess. Monster-like.

Nevertheless, I came with erin to Mint Manor. I still feel crappy but a lot less than yesterday. Although if those two don't stop watching soap operas soon I'm going to come down with some kind of hacking cough.

My face is horrific. Scabby, peeling. I gaze with envy upon every smooth face I see. I used to be you. My complexion, although occasionally pasty, was smooth and fair. And now it is not.

Never, never never never peel your sunburn off before it's ready. Especially if you have obsessive-compulsive tendencies.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:37 PM | shower me with attention

Thursday, May 29, 2003

Piece of evidence number one: I have a mosquito bite on my wrist.

Piece of evidence number two: Q: What are the symptoms of West Nile virus?

A: In last year's outbreak, most people who were infected with the West Nile virus had no symptoms or experienced mild illness with fever, headache and body aches before fully recovering.

Eh? Eh? Fever, headache, body aches. Obviously I have the West Nile. Maybe I got bit by a skeeter and it'll turn me gay, like it did to Scott!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:33 PM | shower me with attention

I've been thinking, and Peter Venkman is definitely the leader of the Ghostbusters. I mean, that's obvious. And he's the smartest; sure, Egon may have more "book-smarts", but he's a bit of a doofus. Venkman's got the smarts.

But here's the real question: is he the sexiest Ghostbuster?

I'd also have to say yes. Because he's the funniest, you see.

Although it's very funny when Egon says, "It would be bad." Harold Ramis delivers that line beautifully. But it doesn't make him sexy. Whereas, "I feel so funky..."

Now that's masterful.

I have to go lie on the couch for another 14 hours.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:22 PM | shower me with attention

John Irving's author photos are really sexy.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:29 PM | shower me with attention

I'm dick as a sog.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:09 PM | shower me with attention

Gooses! Geeses! I want a goose that lays gold eggs for Easter!
Least a hundred a day!
And by the way...
I want a feast! I want a bean feast!
Something and donuts and something and something
and something you could go nuts
Give it to me NOW!

VerUUUUca! SWEEThaht!

I am all about aching. Throat, head, limbs. Obviously it's because my sister was sick on Monday and we share a water-for-rinsing-after-brushing-teeth cup. I'm not actually feverish or delirious, but if I were I think a cool thing to do would be to mumble songs from Willy Wonka in a British accent.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:39 AM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Attention, members of my household: I will be holding a training session to demonstrate how to cover a tin of catfood with aluminum foil before placing it in the fridge. If your last name begins with the letters A-O or Q-Z, your training session will be held at [time TBA]; if your last name begins with the letter P, your training session will be held every time you step into the kitchen and I happen to be there. Studies show that 3 out of 4 members of this particular household have some questions about how to use aluminum foil, so attendance of this session will be to your benefit.

Thank you for your time. I know that together we can learn how to properly store pet food without having it dry out or spoil, thus ensuring a better future for both our kittens and ourselves.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:12 PM | shower me with attention

Today I took my dad to the Eye and Ear Infirmary because he can't see too well when they put drops in his eyes. Then we walked down to The Strand, which I usually hate-- crowded and musty-- but my dad loves it and I did find a book in the children's section. I'm way into the kiddie books lately. Down time between semesters?

Anyway, I just mentioned The Strand to make Gina giggle, because there's an old porn theatre in Kansas City by that name.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:25 PM | shower me with attention

I am a sexy, sexy, pin-up model. Young, firm, nubile, downloadable. Luscious. You want to just take a bite out of me. I am in no way a fat, raccoon-eyed nerd with a peeling sunburn, coffee-stained teeth and split ends. Not me, bobbo!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:01 AM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Don't read the entry below this one. It's really disgusting.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:19 PM | shower me with attention

Never try to peel your face off before it's ready.

I tried to peel my face off and it wasn't ready and now I have oozy patches on my nose and cheek. The nose isn't my fault, though, because I hit myself in the nose with my duffel on the airplane, and it gouged out a chunk. But the cheek was my fault. That super-dry part is just buggin' me.

You're not actually supposed to peel your face off at all, but who's going to stop me?

In other news, tonight I watched The Others and although it gaveme a chill, it was too much for too little payoff.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:15 PM | shower me with attention

How many nights are the kitties going to wake me up after 3 am so that I have to go and sleep on the couch?

Apparently they can reach Kirsten's bunk now, but they can't seem to get down. We found them up there last night when we got home from the airport. (Kirsten's flight back from Chicago came in around the same time I got in from Kansas City.) They were up on her bed, crying. Stupid kitties. At least they weren't up there too long, I guess-- no little messes.

But three in the morning is still gymnastics-time for them, and I'm the jungle gym.

In other news, apparently it rained all weekend and was cold and miserable here, so I'm quite the freak with my Kansas City sunburn. I had to put makeup on so I wouldn't frighten small children.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:06 AM | shower me with attention

Monday, May 26, 2003

I just got home and I have to go to bed soon because I have to go to work tomorrow. Strangely, I'm sleepy. I think 'cause I only had one cup of coffee today and it was before 10 am?

My face hurts.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:27 PM | shower me with attention

I just turned on The Golden Girls and be damned if it isn't the one where Rose has insomnia! Why can't anyone figure out how to hook up the VCR around here?

And Maclean Stevenson is in this episode, too.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:23 PM | shower me with attention

Yesterday was the greatest because after the Little League game we went and ate some extremely unhealthy food in extremely unhealthy quantities, and then came back and drank some alcoholic beverages with Gina's sister and her friends, and then we all decided it would be good idea to fork someone's lawn.

Gina invented that when she was a drunken teenager and she's been telling Goils about it 'round the fire for lo these many moons, so it was very exciting to participate in a forking myself. It was just like being friends with Gina when Gina was in high school. After the forking, we jumped into the car and took off for one of the lady's houses, where we jumped on the trampoline in her backyard until we almost threw up. Then we dashed off home in a hurry and Gina forgot her shoes.

Today me and Gina and her nephew went to the zoo and now we're playing X-Men. I'm Jean Grey, whoever that is, and for some reason I have a Southern accent. We're going to the airport in a couple hours.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:19 PM | shower me with attention

Sunday, May 25, 2003

My face and arms are bright, bright red. Except around my eyes, which are white in the shape of tiny Winnie-the-Pooh sunglasses. My appearance is comical.

I ate at a place called Stroud's which was so good that now I wish I was dead.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:40 PM | shower me with attention

Today I went to two Little League games and got suburneded. They were my first little Little League games and my second baseball games ever.

Baseball parents are kind of scary. The kids didn't seem to mind though. They're a lot hardier than I.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:44 PM | shower me with attention