tavie.com

I will also take the time to thank Tavie for lending me this CD from the Upright Citizen's Brigade. I will say for the record that Mark Besser is absolutely hilarious. And even more specifically his Bjork act that he did.

Mark Besser - We can make anything into a musical.

An unsuspecting caller - You can turn anything into a musical...

Mark Besser - Yes, that's what we do. If you want to make a musical, we can.

I KNOW! It's the funniest thing ever on earth.
The other day I was sitting at the computer and I randomly turned to Gina and said in my best approximation of the Bjork-voice, "EVERYTHING can be a musical...!" and she gave me the "What the fuck?" look and turned back to her soap opera.

Good times.
Hey, I should get dressed...

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:10 PM | shower me with attention

Noooo... too sexy....

Bless you and your important digital camera.

Cab comes tomorrow, I should sleep. Off to the other coast to spread my beauty and goodness to others. Back Tuesday. Take care of each other while I'm gone.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:23 AM | shower me with attention

Thursday, May 16, 2002

Which Kevin 'Fro Are You?
Brought to you by Kevin McDonald: the Kid in the Hall We DO Like.

This is so true. Thank you, Kara.
That made me smile.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:08 PM | shower me with attention

Oh. Happy Kevin McDonald Day.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:56 PM | shower me with attention

This weekend is Rynn and Puddin' and Bob and Steve and KITH, but all I can think about is the massive amount of laundry I have to do tonight. Months and months worth of it. Just an incredible amount to boggle the mind. I hate doing laundry more than I hate doing anything else, except maybe vomiting.

And, hm, if my plane leaves at 6:45 p.m. tomorrow, I should have a cab pick me up at... 3:30? That's INSANE, isn't it? And yet I think it's correct. Oh lawdy, whatta world, whatta world.

Also, I'm still really pissed off.

I'm a bundle of joy and goodness today. All this love and happiness and pink daisies and yellow sunshine, my, I don't know how you can look at me without sunglasses!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:54 PM | shower me with attention

I really want to bite someone's head off and chew it up into a pulp and spit it out and bake the pulp into a hard, crusty, spiky mass and shove the mass up their ass.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:56 AM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, May 15, 2002

Piss shit cunt cocksucker motherfucker goddamn fuckshitpisscockshitfuckpiss.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 7:08 PM | shower me with attention

As I sang I felt more positive about this fact. Rather than being embarrassed by it I unabashedly embraced it. I gained strength. After the show this person(s) came backstage and complimented me and thus... validated me. I had so many things to say but of course I said, “thank you” (and about 20 other words I can’t remember). My pal Paul Myers will read this and know who I am talking about but I leave the rest up to your imaginations.

Ah, KITH fans are savvy, Craig! We know it was Elvis Costello.

A serious wow.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:42 PM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, May 14, 2002

Today is the day of walking around listening to this cd and giggling.

Goddamn hilarity.

Matt Besser: Would you like to be a judge at the Cannabis cup in Amsterdam?

Hapless Caller: Say that again?

MB: Would you like to be a judge at the Cannabis cup in Amsterdam? It's in the summer.

HC: (pause) No.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:44 PM | shower me with attention

Kirsten jealously objects to my referring to Kitana as my sister. That's so cute.

So, I'll say: Kitana is like a sister to me.

Better?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:53 AM | shower me with attention

So much for flashy. Let's try for sincere.

It's hard though, because I truly adore her. In the original, dictionary, exagerration-free sense of the word. I adore her.

I also love her. She's my sister. She's one of my best friends. She's my hero. I look up to her. I adore her. I don't know if I'm expressing this properly; if I didn't love her in such a sisterly a fashion, I'd be hopelessly in love with her, with flowers and violin music and bad poetry.

She's a very great many of the things that I want to be.

Now she's completely legal, all over North America.

Look out, world. No, seriously. Look out. She's a little clumsy-- so really: look out.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:52 AM | shower me with attention

Cue drumroll. Cue fanfare. Cue lights. Release the doves. Release the balloons.

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls... kids of all ages... put your hands together...

Cue kangaroos. Cue chorus line.

Twenty-one years in the making...

Cue line of popping champagne corks. Cue dancing zebras.

It's...

Cue theme song.

Happy KITANA Day, everybody!!!!

GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:48 AM | shower me with attention

Monday, May 13, 2002

Hey, no fair starting early! Why, Kitana Day doesn't start for another three and a half hours!

I know, the clowns and ponies are getting restless over here, too. I fed them a piece of cake to get them off my back. I hope she doesn't notice a chunk missing.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:46 PM | shower me with attention

Just saw a blind man on tv with a seeing-eye pony. A seeing-eye pony. It was so amazing. It was one of those really little ponies, I forget what they're called, but they're about the size of a big dog... but tweren't no dog. 'Twas a seeing-eye pony.

Awesome.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:36 PM | shower me with attention

We brought my boy Andrew a digeridoo from our trip to Australia in '98 and he taught himself to play it immediately. That is so impressive to me.

Today was Mother's Day. I called my mom. She answered her cell phone and said she was in the middle of a flamingo show. Since she was in Spain I had to assume she meant flamenco. She needs to stop being cute. She says Seville was the prettiest city they've been in so far. They'll be home Saturday but I'll be in San Francisco snuggling it up with my honies. Between now and Friday I will have to get three months worth of back-up laundry done, else I'll have to run around San Francisco naked. I don't fancy that. Too floppy, too chilly.

Best line in Spider-man: "No, Gobby, you're out. Out of your MIND, that is!"

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:51 AM | shower me with attention

Hey look! Someone else who doesn't suck.

Great list. I did read The Great Gatsby last year and I really liked it. What I want to know is what is taking me so long to get some Lemony Snicket already.

Oh, everything is taking me so long. I can't think of a single thing I can do in a timely manner. Anyway.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:40 AM | shower me with attention

Spiderman spoilers, I guess. Warning. Or something. If you care.

My favourite part of Spider-man was near the end when Spiderman and Mary Jane are having their confessional love-fest in the graveyard near the end and people started throwing popcorn bags and soda cups at the screen. Kirsten and I about died for laughing. Gina did not approve of our mirth.

It was such a suck-fest. I really thought it stunk. Just, writing-wise, man. It was Titanic-bad in the writing department.

It was kind of cool seeing the tram station get blown up, though. Scary, but cool. The little red bus and everything, it was funny. Roosevelt Island represent. Word.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:40 AM | shower me with attention

Sunday, May 12, 2002

You are incredibly beautiful. I mean, aside from the spiritual stuff, just speaking in a purely shallow physical manner, you are fucking gorgeous. I sort of hate you a little, you're so pretty. (It's a very little, like the amount of salt you add to chocolate chip cookies. You can't even taste it.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:10 PM | shower me with attention

I dreamed I was learning how to walk on water. I was in a class with my friend Annie and we were really competitive. She thought she was going to learn to walk on water faster than me.

Me Jesus, you Jane.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:37 PM | shower me with attention

I bought a cheap and ugly interim watch today until I get my battery replaced or get a new watch or something.

I know I'm a big dork but I kind of really want this one.

I also dig this and this too.

Not that I have money to spend.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:02 AM | shower me with attention

Why I watch 12 Monkeys? Gina say I no watch before I go bed, but I watch, I watch. I get scared. I get depressed. Stupid Bruce Willis.

Fetal position should help.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:19 AM | shower me with attention