tavie.com

I'm certain that one of my legs is shorter than the other. I'm thinking it's my right leg, because my left leg is the one that's all wacky; my left shoe always gets squished down to the side, my left hip occasionally hurts, I have been hearing a strange popping sound in my left knee. This would seem to indicate, as I believe Steve suggested, that the left leg is taking more weight, or something... he had a good explanation but it sifted out of my brain like sand through the toes on the foot of my sad, foreshortened leg.

If my suspicion is correct, I will be joining such great literary figures as Jem from To Kill a Mockingbird and... and... okay, I can't think of any more.

In other medical news, I am almost certainly carrying the next Messiah. It's been long enough so that I should probably seek medical help, and yet I don't, because it's such a bother.

Otherwise, I'm one healthy-ass mofo. ("That means 'motherfucker'," sez Mike.)

On Tuesday night I'll leave for my adventures overseas. It's my first time going to Europe without my parents and I have been having slight anxiety at night, as I'm settling down to sleep and get to thinking about it. So best to not think about it too hard. I've gotten this far by not dwelling on what was, so it's the only way to continue. That kind of anxiety should be in the past. I think of my hero and beacon, Kitana, doing all sorts of grownup things right now in Germany as I type, like meeting new people and talking to them and paying for things in foreign currency. But she's much more the grownup than I.

I will not be a self-defeating prophesizer! I have a large suitcase and ugly new sandals and foreign cash and I am ready to do this thing now.

I am not nearly as fucked up as I ought to be, ladies and gentlemen. Believe me when I say this is so, for I am recognizing more and more the degree to which my childhood experiences were abnormally horrific. And yet, I am somehow a Person Who Can Do Things and Have Fun Doing Them, To Boot.

For my next trick, I'll need a silver toilet and a sequined thermos...

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:10 AM | shower me with attention