Goth Sunshine
Words from a walking contradiction.
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Wednesday, September 26, 2001
i forgot chloe's vet appointment...i'm forgetting everything lately. i'm in such a funk but maybe it's starting to pass. it's just that everybody has a problem lately...either i have a problem with them or they have a problem with me. the girls at work are more moody than usual, i can't help but feel that my roommate is using me (those are stronger words than i mean but the only ones i can come up with at the moment) and i haven't spoken with anyone else in the band in almost a month. i thought these people were my friends but i could be falling apart right now and they wouldn't know...unless it compromised my ability to get to a gig or practice : P ...and i can't seem to talk to my family without getting at least one lecture of one sort or another. even my sister felt the need to tell me that she heard from scott that my roommate's friend told him i shouldn't be in the band.
a. why would my sister tell me that?
b. who does this guy think he is?
c. what am i supposed to do with this information?
and d. just how many people are talking about me anyway? i think i'm getting a little p-a-r-a-NOID. just call me frodo, eh?

i feel the need to connect with people that aren't talking about me behind my back, getting something out of me or being nice to me one minute and biting my head off the next. i *desperately* need my goils...even if i feel i may cry.

a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 23:29

Sunday, September 23, 2001

following the prompt of gleebs, atlanta steve, etc., i was tempted to take this test at this site (i can't remember the name, duh (g), check *their* blogs)...these are the results based on the questions i answered regarding what i believe...

Rankings:

1. Neo-Pagan (100%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/NP.html
2. New Age (94%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/NA.html
3. Sikhism (94%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/Si.html
4. Mahayana Buddhism (92%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/MB.html
5. Unitarian Universalism (90%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/UU.html
6. Liberal Quakers (89%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/LQ.html
7. Bahá'í Faith (88%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/Ba.html
8. Jainism (82%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/Ja.html
9. Reform Judaism (80%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/RJ.html
10. Hinduism (75%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/Hi.html
11. Orthodox Judaism (72%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/OJ.html
12. Theravada Buddhism (70%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/TB.html
13. Islam (65%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/Is.html
14. New Thought (62%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/NT.html
15. Taoism (61%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/Ta.html
16. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (58%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/LC.html
17. Scientology (56%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/Sc.html
18. Orthodox Quaker (55%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/OQ.html
19. Secular Humanism (55%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/Hu.html
20. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (46%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/LD.html
21. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (40%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/CS.html
22. Atheists and Agnostics (36%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/At.html
23. Jehovah's Witness (34%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/JW.html
24. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (29%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/CC.html
25. Seventh Day Adventist (26%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/sd.html
26. Eastern Orthodox (21%) http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/EO.html
27. Roman Catholic (21%)

i find it fascinating that the religion at the top of the list is the one i am currently studying (wicca) and the one at the very bottom is the one i was born and raised in. it is to laugh (a-ha, a-ha)...i must be a psychologist's dream.

i took simon and hecubus to the vet recently and simon still has a heart murmur. the vet told me she was concerned and since i want to have them both neutered she suggested an echocardiogram before general anesthesia. otherwise, she could use an alterative anesthesia. the main thing that concerns me is that he pants after playing for a little while. it doesn't stop him from continuing to play (and play hard) but whenever he stops he opens his mouth and pants...my poor baby. i think i'm going to splurge and have the echocardiogram done (even though it costs roughly $200) just to see how much may really be wrong with his heart : (

i'm mad at my roommate right now too. why do i have to ask him to do anything around th apartment? i hate feeling like his mother or a nagging girlfriend (which i am not, his girlfriend i mean). he only does things around the apartment if i either ask him to or if he feels guilty. right now, i am sorrow-saturated and pms-ing, so i can't even really talk to him right now and he knows something is wrong and i can't tell him, otherwise it will come out all wrong, mean and bitchy. i've fallen into the seemingly typical female conundrum: if i have to tell you what's wrong, then the only reason you are changing is cause i told you to. why is it so hard for him to take the initiative and do the dishes, for example. you can't turn around in my apartment without seeing something that needs to be done, and i am not exaggerating, nor am i anal. the trash usually needs to be taken out, the dishes need to be done, the litter box needs to be scooped, the rug needs to be vacuumed, etc. but none of this occurs to him unless i asked him specifically to do it or i make hints, i.e. "wow, i can smell the litter box from here", etc. i'm his roommate, not his mother...i shouldn't have to tell him to do anything. but this too will pass...

a bad case of verbal diarrhea from Cheryl 21:57