tavie.com

I wonder if it's a worse to be a Fan of someone and know, always, that they're an Entity, and that there's a certain level of closeness that can never be achieved, simply by virtue of status, or if it's worse to know someone first, and wholeheartedly enjoy their company, and later, discover that they, too, are an Entity, and their status as such is growing, and to discover, too, that now you are a Fan of theirs, too. And realize at this point that you've drifted apart, in the natural course of casual Friendships, but this new element of Fandom is there, and so the drifting is made suddenly awful by that fact. Suddenly you want things from them that you never wanted before they were an Entity. You hate that about yourself. You were never like that before. And you've switched sides completely: from Friend to Fan. From Fan to Friend rarely, if ever, gets beyond a certain point; but there's a retreating from a certain point that happens from Friend to Fan, and that's painful. Reduced to its simplest terms: it is worse to know what you've lost than to never have gained.

So I think Friend to Fan is worse.

I miss her.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:29 AM | shower me with attention

We are definitely going to Disney World together some day. What kind of a freak doesn't want to go to EPCOT? How can you NOT go back at LEAST two days? You can't do everything in just ONE day.

Sheesh, no one is On Property anymore. (Speaking of On Property, I miss Chris. Fuck Greg the Bunny.)

I fell asleep shortly after 9 last night. I don't even know who won the hockey game. (Ha, I just love saying things like that. {g}) I woke up at 6. I read some more of Dreamcatcher. (Finally, an It reference. It's about time, 400 pages in.) Then I came down here and signed on. Gina just woke up. She's in the shower. I'm hungry. I will fry an egg. Maybe 2 eggs.

Yesterday I took some of the photo paper erin bought me and I printed out a picture of "Al Bean" and a picture of Cyril St. John to put on my bedroom walls. (That's when I discovered all the missing links in Daveland.) Anyone who's ever shared a room knows of the intense joy of finally having your own space to decorate. I live in a magical fairyland all my own, populated by Michael and Aimee and Cutter and Kate and Dave. I like it there. It's mine. Well, it's Gina's. But when I'm here it's mine.

Now I'm really hungry. Goo-goo-ga-joob.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 7:39 AM | shower me with attention

Thursday, May 31, 2001

Shit. Okay. Okay. Everyone should know this. This is merely a public service:

Spy Kids is fucking awesome.

I think perhaps the best kids movie since Willy Wonka.
No, I mean it. I know I was kind of snotty and bitchy about not wanting to see it, because the trailers looked bad, but the trailers do not at ALL reflect the coolness of this movie. Oh my god. Just, just, three words:
Floop is God.

(YES, youwere right. But it's not my fault that Spy Kids is a great movie. How was I supposed to know? I didn't know CHEECH was in it, for god's sake!)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:43 PM | shower me with attention

Oh my fucking god, I just went through all the picture pages at Daveporn USA and made a list of all the broken links. Like half the fucking thing has disappeared. Whole pages have disappeared. (Luckily many still exist at the old geocities site.) But still. Jeezus. I have to dig through all my crap and look for all these hundreds of pictures. I don't want to. Just kill me. Maybe I'll drop out of fandom. What has it done for me lately? :P

Crappity crap.

In other news, I have been entranced by ESPN's coverage of the national spelling bees. It's fascinating. One of the announcers said, "It must be a great feeling to know a word and to just SPELL it!"

LOL.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 12:31 PM | shower me with attention

So, erin finally explained to me what "referrals" are, so I went and looked at mine, and oh my lord:

Top 4 of 4 Total Search Strings

# Hits Search String

1 4 40.00% tavie shrine dave foley
2 2 20.00% bitch slapped
3 2 20.00% dave foley
4 2 20.00% john ritter scrotum

I can't stop laughing.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:28 AM | shower me with attention

My Kitana is having anxiety dreams and such. Actually this one struck a chord with me. No, not the stalker thing. Sheesh. The purple-plaid shirt thing. I once had a dream where I was waiting in line and I turned around and behind me was Kevin McDonald, wearing a purple plaid shirt.
That's an oldie from the KITH Dream Notebook I used to keep. I should dig that thing out, reread it. Scary.

Oh, my Kitana. Good things are happening for you. Sucky everyday-life things, too. But if those ever suck too much, call me and we'll sing "Beautiful City", and after that they won't seem to suck quite so badly.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:38 AM | shower me with attention

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, he is cute.

He-ey.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 8:24 AM | shower me with attention

Wednesday, May 30, 2001

Some Aimee quotes for Prince Charming's yearbook:

Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream,
I hope you drown and never come back. -Aimee Mann

Nothing else works quite as well:

Nothing is good enough for people like you. -Aimee Mann

I don't know what else you hear, but it's not me weeping. -Aimee Mann

Other people get by on either bourbon or god. -Aimee Mann

Finals blew... -Aimee Mann (hee hee)

It's not going to stop. -Aimee Mann

I'll do flips and get paid in chips from a diamond as big as the Ritz:
Then I'm calling it quits. -Aimee Mann

That last one really doesn't work. I think an "asshole" tacked onto the end would benefit it immensely.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:30 PM | shower me with attention

Oh, my, NO, Nicole, you are most certainly not the only one fixated with EPCOT. EPCOT is the focus of my most common anxiety dream: I am on a trip to Disney World. Usually with the Usual Gang of Idiots (i.e. my family and/or Erica, Steph and my sister). It is the last day or next-to-last day, and I realize with horror that we have not yet been to EPCOT! We're running out of time! I try to hustle us over there, but everything gets in the way. We cannot get to EPCOT! We're going to miss going there!

I know that doesn't sound so bad, but it's awful. I don't know why; EPCOT is my favourite of the Disney Parks and the source of a great deal of my Magical Childhood Whimsy, but it's a strange damned anxiety dream to have. It's very... middle-class white girl with no life.

I have been to Disney World 20 times.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 10:27 AM | shower me with attention

Monday, May 28, 2001

Instead of sleeping last night, I read Stephen King's Dreamcatcher for awhile. Then I got up and played Burning Monkey Freecell. Then back to the book. Then back to Freecell. This went on for awhile until around 8:30, when I impulsively dressed and slipped out with a discman playing Godspell. I was in a very lyrical, pastoral, musical theatre sort of mood. I walked down the hill to the park. In my head I ran through my imaginary production of Godspell.

Mark drew my imaginary cast to my side with his imaginary horn and his "Prepare Ye". He then baptized me and I sweetly sang "Save the People" back to him. Linn, dressed in 70's New York garb of her own making, sang "Day By Day" to me; Kitana, in flowing hippie-clown robes, vamped up "Turn Back O Man". My blue Dave shoes, not terribly suited for hiking, sparkled with dew and mud. Kirsten, nonplussed by the state of my shoes, led the whole cast in a rousing rendition of "Bless the Lord" as Rynn and Andrew pranced to and fro with tambourines. I walked past a softball diamond crowded with fat geese, and Matt turned out an apologetic rendition of "Light of the World", with Crissy (she's in my production now {g}) and Rynn backing him up, as though to make up for the lack of true Goose in my imaginary biblical adventure. Mark and I soft-shoed to "All for the Best"; dew and bits of grass flew off my shoes as I imaginarily tapped across the path. I glideded softly under a clump of trees as we all joined hands across my mind and circled Cheryl, draped in violet gauze for "All Good Gifts". (Andrew accompanied on recorder.) Finally, I had to turn back (oh, man) and it was with heavy, plodding feet that I had to fight the evil Pharisees with my angry rendition of "Alas For You". Gina calmed me with "By My Side", flanked by Kirsten and Matt. Much cheered, I skipped... panted... back up the hill to Mint Manor, one arm around imaginary Crissy and the other around imaginary Kitana for "Beautiful City". Then things became sad. As I reached the house, Mark was preparing my imaginary cast for my impending death with his haunting "On the Willows". Not in the mood to be crucified, I reached home just in time to throw down my discman, grab a Diet Coke, and join my imaginary cast for premature bows.
You should have been there.

It's good you're not here right now, though. I kind of smell.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 9:58 AM | shower me with attention

Sunday, May 27, 2001

Oh my god, they just showed the "Mayor of Simpleton" video! I didn't even know there WAS a "Mayor of Simpleton" video!!! That's like one of my favourite XTC songs ever, I had a whole "Low Self-Esteem Mix" idea revolving around that song.

Damn, I love this channel.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:18 AM | shower me with attention

VH1 Classic just showed the "Voices Carry" video! I ran from the computer and sat cross-legged up close to the tv like a 4-year-old watching Sesame Street. Now they're playing "Let's Hear it For the Boy", which I unabashedly love, and not just because the little kid in in is Aaron Lohr ("Mushie" from Newsies).

Oh, god, Nicole, I just love you! I always sing "Ticket to Ride" like that. I just do. I love Clarence, the Real Fifth Beatle. {g} That's so funny. I actually had to re-explain to my sister the other day why I was singing it that way.

And you're singing Aimee. She was in my scary dream about the oranges the other night. She was mad at me in the dream. Man, oranges freak me out since that dream. Gina said "You had the pear dream again" and I laughed and laughed because that's exactly what it is.

Linn wants more Patton details. I can't think of many...Gina gave some good ones. He had some new material, that was good. He made a reference to Templeton from Charlotte's Web that made me laugh a lot. Everything he said did. His bit about pot-shopping in Amsterdam was magnificent. And the Stello Dora (or is it Stella Doro? I can't remember) Breakfast Treats one. God he's funny. And Brian Posehn, I love him now. I liked him before, but I love him now. His nerdliness charms me to no end. He riffs on nerds like a Def Jam Comic will riff on "niggas". Power to you, my brother!

::annoyed voice:: We're X-Files!

Hee hee.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:54 AM | shower me with attention