tavie.com

Stephanie asks:

"If you could sleep with anyone, past, present, or future (if that's possible), who would it be and why? I'm curious."

I'm not going to go with the predictable answer, because that's too predictable.

This probably require more careful thought than I have time to give. I'll think and get back to this question after the Big Presentation, which is in exactly one half-hour so I'd better get moving.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:30 PM | shower me with attention

I need a new wallet. If you happen to see a wallet that screams "Tavie" at you, would you please purchase said wallet and send it to me? I will reimburse you. However, do not purchase it if it does not scream "Tavie".

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:26 AM | shower me with attention

Tomorrow will be an exciting day. First, I will humiliate myself by reading my paper in front of my anthropology class. I just hope I don't say anything that's wrong enough to have the teacher yell at me. She tends to get angry when someone says something "wrong". (I never say anything so she's never yelled at me, but tomorrow it is REQUIRED that I say something. Uh oh.)
Then I will go to that comedy thing at Irving Plaza. Gina will be there. Not only that, but Linn will be there. And coming down with Linn from Toronto will be one of my favourite people in the world, someone who I love very purely with all of my heart, Kitana will be there!!! This is very exciting. I love her so much, sometimes I just sit around reflecting upon my love for her. I'll think of something funny or smart she said and think, "I am so lucky to know her."
After the show, erin will come to sleep at my apartment. She knows very well the horrible dirty slumlike mess that this place is, and therefore I will not bother feeling sorry for her; she asked to. Anyway, the show will be fun. Lots of funny people will be performing.

Sadly, Goose, whom I also love, will not be there. Neither will my relatively new lovee, Matt.

But!!!!
We will see them BOTH on Friday AND Saturday!

Speaking of Friday, which, if you're keeping up, is when the auction for the only thing in life I wish to own ends, another relatively new lovee, Bob, will try and secure this for me in my absence from my computer.

Now, I should probably sleep to rest up for my big humiliation. I hope I don't cry; that would be ugly.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 4:19 AM | shower me with attention

Tuesday, April 24, 2001

I have been outbid on the only thing I ever really wanted. I have not gone back yet to place a higher bid; instead I signed up for daily email reminders to do so, planning to swoop in at the last second and steal it back.

The problem is, I just realized the auction ends on Friday, when I will be at Gina's and won't have computer access. What do I do? What do I do??? What if Kirsten's not home to bid on it for me? Oh my god.

I guess I can try to bid on it from Mint Manor but what if something goes wrong?

Someone help me.

Also, the Our Lady Peace concert was awesome. It was, I think, my first Rock Concert. I've been to concerts before, but they've all been for pop-y or folk-y or whimsical, fun-loving, tending-towards-the-silly musicians. This was my first experience with Moshing and Rowdiness and all that good stuff. And I loved it. I was exhausted but I got so into it I lost track of all time and just moved with the crowd. I jumped up and down and stamped and rocked the hizzouse.

I was very disapproving of the sponsor, though. It was something called Cunty Sark or something. A whisky. It was very, very sexist. They actually trotted out huge-breasted women to throw posters and hats at the crowd, and the guy shouted to an audience made up largely of teenagers, "I want to see some people drinking Cutty Sark tonight! Anyone I see drinking Cutty Sark gets a free tee shirt!" And there were giant posters everywhere of a huge-breasted woman on the beach. It was unbelievably sexist and stupid.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 1:23 AM | shower me with attention

Monday, April 23, 2001

Oh, well, as long as I'm not getting any sleep tonight...
I'm ebay crazy. I just got my Bachelor No. 2 poster and I'm gonna put it up at Mint Manor. If I don't win X the Owl I'm going to kill someone. And now, in my latest bit of craziness, I came across this auction and fell in love. I have bedsheets like that. {g} I know it's silly, but this chick makes the coolest clothes-- I looked at her other stuff, and I'm in love with the Care Bears shirt, especially-- so, anyway, I emailed her and asked her if she ever makes anything in larger sizes, and she's making me a Strawberry Shortcake peasant blouse of my own now. For a great price, too.

I am pleased.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:42 AM | shower me with attention

Fucking hell, Our Lady Peace concert is tonight and I'm going to be exhausted out of my mind because I haven't slept all night and I have to be up in a few hours for school.

GODDAMMIT!!!

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:30 AM | shower me with attention

A note about the Rant below: please do not respond to it by telling me how Beautiful and Wonderful a person I am, and how any guy would be lucky to spend time with me, et cetera. I had seafood for dinner yesterday and that's all the fishing I'm in the market for at the moment, honest. :)

In fact, best not respond to it at all. Best to move on. Talk about the weather. Sure is hot out there, eh?

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:27 AM | shower me with attention

Okay, just one more thing about the Guy Whose Love My Sister Doesn't Return. Just one indulgence of self-pity for myself, if you please.�I earned it, dammit. :)

Does anyone in the world out there think that if I were someone who doesn't resemble the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man's fat cousin Hilda, that Mr. Sad Sack would feel comfortable sharing his feelings about his sad love life to me? Does anyone out there think that if I looked just as I do now, but thin and pretty instead of fat and ugly, that I would be the Sounding Board? I would not. I would be the Next Love Prospect.

I am in no way attracted to this guy, mind you, but I wonder why it is that it's taken for granted that I wouldn't mind hearing about how much in love with my sister (or, in other cases with other Sad Sacks, my friend Erica) they are because I, myself, am fat and obviously don't have to worry about these things?

It's just, you know, it's interesting. I myself wouldn't be attracted to me, mind you, but I also don't think that just because I looked like me that I would be the perfect person to confide in about my love life. (Okay, that sentence made no sense, but it can be excused because I'm Ranting.)

I know what will be said: the reason he and other Sad Sacks are comfortable in confiding in me is because I am a thoughtful, open, understanding and empathetic person, a good listener and generous personality whose charm and sympathy invite people to open up to me.

This is obviously not true, but even if it was true, I'm tellin' ya, the boys wouldn't whine at me if I were to express this charm and sympathy looking like Christina Applegate in a halter top.

Thank you for your time.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:25 AM | shower me with attention

I am very glad that Goose had a good summery weekend and that Matt finally got Whatever.

What the hell is up with Kitana's blog? Nothing there.

As for myself, it was very strange not going to Mint Manor for the weekend, but I think I got my paper on The Former Colony of Rhodesia done. It's complete bullshit but I have a history of doing really well with my bullshit.

Yesterday Kirsten went with me to the Met so I could get an art assignment done. Then we went to a Japanese restaurant. (I had eel.) Then we went to her favourite place in the world (apparently), a bar called Stingy Lulu's, off St. Mark's Place. She goes there a lot to flirt with the cute Japanese bartender. (She won't do any more than flirt with him because he's 33. Sheesh.) It turned out that the guy who's been in love with her for years was there with a buddy of his. This guy is nice and all, but I always end up sitting up all night while he goes on and on about how terrible his life is because my sister doesn't return his love. It's not too much fun for me to listen to after awhile, but he's nice and all so I do.
It was interminable last night, though. Kirsten went off with Cute Bartender to look at Cute Bartender's photos of himself, and I was at the bar with a gin and tonic and Mr. Sad. It lasted hours. I only had the one gin and tonic, and then about an hour later I had a cosmopolitan. That's all. But that was probably a bad idea because after I got home and went to bed I woke up so nauseous I thought I'd puke. The nausea actually woke me up.
I'm not a puker. I'm very Jerry Seinfeld in that way. I only have memories of puking maybe 5 times in my life, spaced apart by very long periods of time. (I broke a 10-year record in Australia when I was 19, and haven't been able to eat pecan pie since.)
Anyhow, boy was I sick though. I'd get up to the point where I knew I couldn't stop myself from puking, and then somehow I would. This went on and off all morning until I finally fell asleep with a plastic basin on the bed next to me, and slept all day.
Which is why I can't sleep now.

The lesson is, 1. Don't go to bars with my sister anymore. 2. If I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna stick to one drink. (A malibu and Coke for you, a G and T for me.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 6:14 AM | shower me with attention

Sunday, April 22, 2001

Patchwork quilts. Polyester blouses. Bellbottoms. "Free to Be You and Me". The Paper Bag Players. Suzuki violin lessons. Tambourines. Long hair parted in the middle. The Magic Garden. Kermit. Ernie. The Count. Running under the parachute. Maurice Sendak books. 70st street and 14th avenue, Brooklyn. The Gnomes. The cartoon in the subway. Bonna the Squirrel. "The wooden things" at Brooklyn College. McDonald's Playland. The navy skirt with the purple buttons. Courderoy. The Story Box. Really Rosie.

I miss being 4.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 5:50 AM | shower me with attention

I can't believe I actually found this. We used to have one when I was really little, and I've thought about it for years. You ever think about toys that you had when you were a very young child? I do, a lot. And I've actually gone and gotten similar ones on ebay, like the Fisher Price bluebird, and stuffed Care Bears and things. But the most coveted one in my mind was always the X the Owl puppet.

Please, please, please Scott in heaven let me win this auction.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 3:27 AM | shower me with attention