tavie.com

I feel the need to remind everyone that I was in the audience of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego in grade 6. My whole class was. We all had to take a test to determine who would get to be contestants. My "friend" Lisa tried to cheat off my paper and got us both disqualified. My other "friend" Amy got to be one of the contestants. (The other two were Suzy, the bitch and Nina, the bitch-- both supersmart, Suzy slightly bitchier but Nina more hated because she was the best student in the class. Incidentally I saw Suzy on the street the other day and she looks like a Supermodel and probably is a grad student somewhere Ivy League, and I remembered what a little witch she was to me in grade 6 and wondered if she can possibly be a happy person with that kind of personality.)

Anyway. Nina won. Amy lost miserably-- sad at the time, but delicious in retrospect. (Oh, so what if she's searching the web and one day comes across this. So what. You made my life hell in grade 8, girl.) And at the end, when the entire audience is supposed to yell "DO IT, ROCKAPELLA!" and then get up and dance on the map, who is the long girl sitting in the bleachers, refusing to dance? The fat girl in the wide red-and-white striped shirt and the dismal expression? That's me, chilluns! How cool I am. "Do it Rockapella"? I sneered. "Phoo."

(Okay, no I didn't. I just thought it.)

Why are you in Tavie's head? 11:03 AM | shower me with attention