tavie.com

I wish I knew Stephanie better. If I was home right now I'd want her to be online so I could IM her and say "Hullo, Steph, what's up? Do you have a middle name? What's your favourite fruit? Did you like the movie 'Oscar' and have been ashamed to admit it, or is that just me?"

Also I wish I had a better way to differentiate between Online Stephanie and Real-Life Stephanie. Because, you know, it's weird; they're both real PEOPLE, but one of them I know more online, and one of them is in Tennessee right now finishing up college.

There are some things I want to remember but I don't think this is a very good place to write a to-do list. I don't want to write a review of "Monkey Bone" here because then I'll be sick of talking about it in other places (newsgroup, email, vocal chord conversations) and there's only so much I have to say about it. I will say that the non-Dave-ass-related highlight of my night was the wink Goose gave as she was heading down onto the PATH train home. I swear to god I squealed,'SHE WINKED! SHE WINKED AT ME!!' and jumped up and down.
I'm such a social basket case.

I wish I'd gone to high school with Goose. We would have been best friends and it would have been fun, like a well-written novel for teenagers. It would be a goddamn Cynthia Voight book, high school would be, only without, you know, the sappy sentimental crap. (Well, it would be there, but it would be all provided by me.)

Last night I dreamed about Michael Penn. I think it was because Gina and I watched "To Wong Foo" and his brother Chris is in it.
Michael Penn is so damned dreamy I could just swoon.
Why does Aimee get all the pretty boys? I wish I was Aimee.

I had a hard time falling asleep last night even with _Dracula_. I was having one of those crises where you roll over and over thinking, "Who am I? Who the fuck am I and what am I doing?" You know, feeling like I'm missing out on something and I've been in this liminal state for way too long. Talked to Linn some about it today and she helped me feel better some. She's very, very smart. I should hang out with more stupid people so I can feel smarter.
I do not have one single problem in my life that I haven't myself created. It's like I create problems just to alleviate boredom. What is UP with that? I don't have a single real thing to complain about and the guilt is driving me mad. Now I'll be mad at myself for whining like this. It's a lovely vicious guilty cycle.

Erin, please make it pretty. The look of it's really beginning to bug me. Also help me make one to replace my updates page. I can't think of these things for myelf; too much of a strain for my delicate constitution.

(::makes irritated jerk-off motion with my hand as a silent commentary on my own stupidity::)

Now, Tavie baby, put down the keyboard and get into bed and go hunt the Count, and if you're a good girl maybe whoever's in charge of dreams will send you Michael Penn again to pass the night-time with.

And please, Riley, please don't wake up, that's a good kitty.

Why are you in Tavie's head? 2:33 AM | shower me with attention